结合实例论述什么是需求工程
结合实例论述什么是需求工程
09-01-11 &匿名提问
目前，我国各行业亟需各种应用软件系统，但传统的SE开发模式显然不能充分满足用户的需求。进入90年代以来，一种新的被称为“用户主导，面向领域的需求分析方法”被提了出来，即如何从各种各样的应用专业领域中特别是直接从最终用户处捕获需求，并完整、准确地予以描述与分析，需求工程成为研究的热点之一。 　　随着信息时代的发展，计算机软件的需求愈来愈复杂，规模愈来愈大，而且随着企业的发展，工作过程重组，需求变更已愈来愈成为必然。软件危机持续了30年之久，至今仍无法得以很好地解决。究其原因，软件本身具有的特点固然有关，但长期以来，缺乏软件开发和维护的正确方法以及忽视软件开发过程的质量控制乃是最为关键的原因。其中软件开发和维护方法的不正确性主要体现在：忽视软件开发前期的需求分析；开发过程缺乏统一的、规范化的方法论的指导；文档资料不齐全或不准确；忽视与用户之间、开发组员之间的交流；忽视测试的重要性；不重视维护或由于上述原因造成维护工作的困难。 　　这样，就经常出现用户对“已完成”系统不满意，软件产品的质量经常出现漏洞，补丁一大堆。因此人们意识到以工程化的原则和方法组织软件开发工作是解决软件危机的一个主要出路。 　　需求分析作为软件生命周期的第一个阶段，并贯穿于整个软件生命周期，其重要性越来越突出，到80年代中期，逐步形成了软件工程的子领域——需求工程。进入90年代后，需求工程成为软件界研究的重点之一。从1993年起，每两年举办一次需求工程国际研讨会（ISRE），1994年起，每两年举办一次需求工程国际会议（ICRE）。一些关于需求工程的工作小组相继成立。 　　内 容 　　需求工程的目的是通过与用户广泛地交流确定应用系统的目标。需求活动以“工程化”的方法被提出、分析和组织，它鼓励用户以一种积极的方式参与需求分析活动中，并在整个软件生命周期强调用户参与和领域专家的指导作用，促使目标系统最大地满足用户需求。 　　需求工程是一个不断反复的需求定义、记录和演进的过程，并在最终达到需求的冻结。我们可以把需求工程的活动划分为五个阶段： 　　1. 需求获取：积极与用户交流，捕捉、分析和修订用户对目标系统的需求，并提炼出符合问题解决领域的用户需求。2. 需求建模：根据需求分析，对已获取的需求进行抽象描述，为目标系统建立一个概念模型。3. 需求规格说明：对需求模型进行精确地、形式化的描述，为计算机系统的实现提供基础。4. 需求验证：以需求规格说明为基础输入，通过符号执行、模拟或快速原型等方法，分析和验证需求规格说明的正确性和可行性。5. 需求管理：跟踪和管理需求变化，支持系统的需求演进。 　　发 展 　　1. 需求工程的方法学 　　需求工程的方法学发展很快，对需求工程方法学不同侧面的研究和一些经典论述为需求工程的发展奠定了基础。其中典型的有： 　　* Lano提出的操作概念规格，于需求产生前由开发人员写成，它既满足精确的规格说明要求，同时易读、易理解，便于用户了解是否真正体现了其要求。 　　* Sutcliffe、Maiden等人提出从领域知识的角度定义在需求工程环境中通用的领域语义模型和组合模型。 　　* Alford 提出任务分割的概念，大大减低了需求分析的问题复杂度。 　　* Chou 和Eckert 讨论了面向对象的需求工程方法学的概念和模型。 　　* Drake提出用于确定系统需求边界的限定过程。 　　* Gotel 对需求跟踪性问题进行了研究。 　　还有其他许多人对需求工程方法学的其他方面进行了研究和论述。 　　综合看来，需求工程方法大致分为四类：面向过程、面向数据、面向控制、面向对象。 　　* 面向过程的分析方法主要研究系统输入输出的转化方式，对数据本身及控制方面并不很重视。传统的结构分析方法SA（structure analysis）、SADT（structure analysis and design technique）和可执行/可操作模型PAISley、Descartes以及形式方法VDM（vienna design method）、Z等都属于这一类。 　　* 面向数据的方法强调以数据结构的方式描述和分析系统状态，JSD和关系实体（ER）模型都属此类。 　　* 面向控制的方法强调同步、死锁、互斥、并发以及进程激活和挂起，数据流图就是典型的面向控制的方法，SADT是以面向控制的方法为辅的。 　　* 面向对象的方法把分析建立在系统对象以及对象间交互的基础上，通过对象的属性、分类结构和集合结构定义和沟通需求。从对象模型、动态模型和功能模型三个方面对问题进行描述。面向对象的方法正在成为需求分析中的一个热点，并展现出良好的应用前景。Yourdan和Coad的OOA方法、Booch的方法、Jacobson 的OOSE、Rumbaugh的OMT方法等，都是这一方法的典型流派。 　　2. 面向对象的需求工程方法 　　目前，作为解决软件危机的一个最佳对策，是采用面向对象（OO）的技术。面向对象的开发方法强调从问题域的概念到软件程序和界面的直接映射。事实上，把客观世界看成许多对象更接近人类的自然思维方式，而且对象相对稳定。软件需求的变动往往是功能的变动，而功能的执行者——对象一般不会有大的变化。这便是OO技术产生与发展的根源。另外，OO技术支持信息隐蔽、数据抽象与封装，使得软件的开发、修改和维护易于进行。 　　面向对象的方法已应用到软件生命周期的各个阶段，而且OO技术自然地支持快速原型法和快速应用开发。对需求工程而言，由于人类自然地趋向于用“对象”的观点或方法来认识问题和描述问题，所以用基于对象的概念模型来建立问题域模型成为需求分析员和用户交流的有效手段。面向对象的需求分析的基本步骤如下： 　　（1）与用户广泛接触，收集和查看相关资料，对问题域有一个大致的了解。在此基础上，提炼和标识对象。（2） 描述对象（类）的属性。（3）描述对象之间的关系，如整体关系和从属关系等。（4）描述问题域的“剧情”，即描述问题域中完成每个任务需要的对象间的协作关系。 　　以上四个步骤不是孤立进行，而是相互联系的。通过这四个步骤的反复执行，就可以建立一个基于对象的问题域模型。 　　Booch是面向方法最早的倡导者之一，他提出了面向对象的软件工程的概念。1991年，他将以前面向Ada的工作扩展到整个面向对象的设计领域，Booch的方法比较适合于系统的设计和构造。 　　Rumbaugh等人提出了面向对象的建模技术（OMT），采用面向对象的概念，引入各种独立于语言的表示符。这种方法用对象模型、动态模型、功能模型和实例模型共同完成对系统的建模。所定义的概念和符号可用于软件开发的分析、设计和实现的全过程。开发人员无须在开发过程的不同阶段进行概念和符号的转换。特别适用于分析和描述以数据为中心的信息系统。 　　Coad和Yourdon采用5个步骤来确定一个多层的OO模型，5个步骤分别对应模型的5个层次。即：（1）找出类和对象——类和对象层；（2）定义属性——属性层（3）识别结构与关系——结构层；（4）确定主题——主题层；（5）定义服务——服务层。 　　它是最早的面向对象的分析与设计方法之一，该方法简单易学，适合于面向对象的初学者使用，但由于该方法在处理能力方面的局限，目前已很少使用。 　　Jacobson于1994年提出了OOSE的方法，其最大特点是面向用例（Use-Case），并在Use Case的描述中引入了外部角色的概念。Use Case成为分析模型的基础，用交互图对Use Case进一步描述后就形成设计的模型。Use Case是精确描述需求的关键，它贯穿于整个开发过程，包括对系统的测试和验证。OOSE比较适合于支持商业工程的需求分析，Use Case同时也很好地驱动了测试阶段的测试工作。 　　3. 面向对象的建模 　　面向对象的建模是一种新的设计思想，一种关于计算和信息结构化的新思维。面向对象的建模，把系统看作是相互协作的对象，这些对象是结构和行为的封装，都属于某个类，那些类具有某种层次化的结构。系统的所有功能通过对象之间相互发送消息来获得。面向对象的建模可以视为是一个包含以下元素的概念框架：抽象、封装、模块化、层次、分类、并行、稳定、可重用和可扩展。面向对象的建模思想的出现是面向过程和严格数据驱动的软件开发方法的渐进演变结果。 　　（1）UML——Unified Modeling Languge 　　面向对象的分析与设计方法，在80年代末至90年代中发展到一个高潮。但是，诸多流派在思想和术语上有很多不同的提法，在术语、概念上的运用也各不相同，统一是继续发展的必然趋势。需要一种统一的符号来描述面向对象的分析和设计活动，UML应运而生。它不仅统一了Booch、Rumbaugh和Jacobson的表示方法，而且有进一步的发展，最终成为大众所共同接受的标准建模语言。UML是一种定义良好、易于表达、功能强大且普遍适用的建模语言。它融入了软件工程领域的新思想、新方法和新技术。不仅支持面向对象的分析与设计，还支持从需求分析开始的软件开发全过程。 　　UML是面向对象技术发展的重要成果。获得科技界、工业界和应用界的广泛支持，截止1996年底的统计，已有700多家公司表示支持采用UML作为建模语言，稳占面向对象技术市场的85%，成为可视化建模语言事实上的工业标准。1997年，OMG采纳UML1.1作为基于面向对象技术的标准建模语言。UML代表了面向对象方法的软件开发技术的发展方向，具有巨大的市场前景，也具有重大的经济价值和国防价值。 　　（2）可视化的建模工具——ROSE 　　ROSE是Rational 公司开发的一种CASE工具。它用UML语言支持软件开发的大部分过程的建模。在ROSE中，只要你用UML描述了软件的各个部分，也就是为软件建立了一个面向对象的模型， ROSE就可以自动生成应用系统需要的大部分源代码。而且，基于此整个系统具有OO的诸多优点——如模型稳定性、重用性等等，降低了软件维护和升级的成本。 　　（3）UML对用户驱动需求工程的支持 　　OO思想曾经遭受一些人的批评。理由是用户关心和理解的只是系统的功能，他不可能去学习OO模型，所以虽然OO建模缩小了分析设计和编码的鸿沟，但却拉大了和用户的距离。幸运的是，Use Case的出现，使这一情况得到了大大的改观。在UML中，用OO建模的第一步是Use Case 的分析，Use Case体现了系统的功能单元。系统的外部人员或其它系统通过和Use Case 交换消息来了解和使用系统的功能，弥补了OO建模和用户之间的距离。UML以对象图描述任何类型的系统，具有很宽的应用领域，可以对任何具有静态结构和动态行为的领域建模。UML还适用于从需求规格说明到系统测试的不同阶段。在需求分析阶段，用Use Case捕捉用户需求并建模，描述与系统有关的外部角色及其对系统的功能要求。分析阶段主要关心问题域中的主要概念和机制，并用UML类图来描述对象和类，用UML动态模型描述类之间的协作关系。UML模型同时还是测试阶段的依据。不同的测试小组使用不同的UML图作为测试依据：单元测试使用类图和类规格说明；集成测试使用部件图和协作图；系统测试使用Use Case图。 　　所以，UML适用于以面向对象的技术来描述任何类型的系统。而且适用于系统开发的不同阶段。UML的功能和UDRE的基本思想不谋而合。可以应用于任何领域，其实现机制又极大地缩短了用户的距离，易于被用户掌握和接受。UML使用户不仅可以有效地参与需求定义，还能在建模过程中参与部分的设计、实现和测试，从而有效地进行需求验证。使用户在需求的定义、决策、验证和管理，乃至整个软件开发过程中，充分发挥其主导作用。 　　小结：需求工程的发展，使人们认识到，只有最终用户的直接参与并发挥主导作用，才能真正解决问题空间与求解空间的一致性问题，消除计算机领域和应用领域之间的鸿沟，并自动适应系统需求的不断变化。针对传统分析方式的弊端，一种新的被称为“用户主导、面向领域的需求分析方法”被提了出来。需求工程研究现状中一个明显的不足是研究理论与实践的脱节，理论解决方案通常是在对实际问题简化的基础上得到的。要获得需求突破，改善需求工程的开发质量和效率，需要探索一条有效的解决途径，缩小理论与应用之间的距离，使开发出来的系统和模型切实满足应用领域的需要。目前我们正在尝试研制一种有实用价值的面向某一行业领域的用户主导式的应用软件辅助开发工具及原型系统，建立面向领域的用户框架，继续完善用户驱动的需求分析理论和方法，推动用户工程理论的形成。
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试论述中西方设计美学思想的差异性 并结合实例来说明。 笔者从中西方传统思维的差异之一出发，即所谓西方人重“理论”，东方人重“实用”，以及这种差异是如何引领了中西方不同的历史，并试图以此来端正目前美学学科的学习态度。 首先，从自然科学来看。 LON HUNG up the phone. He had called at seven, then at eight thirty, and now he checked his watch again. Nine forty-five.Where was she?He knew she was where she had said she would he because he had spoken to the manager. Yes, she had checked in and he had last seen her around six. Going to dinner, he thought. No, he hadn’t seen her since.Lon shook his head and leaned hack in his chair. He was the last one in the office as usual. That was normal with an ongoing trial, even if the trial was going well. Law was his passion, and the late hours alone gave him the opportunity to catch up on his work without interruption.He knew he would win the case because he mastered the law and charmed the jury. He always did, and losses were infrequent now. Part of it came from being able to select the cases he had the expertise to win. Only a select few lawyers in the city had that kind of stature, and his earnings reflected it.But most of his success came from hard work. He had always paid attention to details, especially when he’d begun his practice. Little things, obscure things, and it had become a habit now.And now a little detail bothered him.Not about the case. That was fine. It was something else. Something about Allie. But damn, he couldn’t put his finger on it. Some time after her call, maybe an hour or so, something clicked in his mind. The little detail. Detail. . . . Something insignificant? Something important?Think. . .. Damn, what was it?His mind clicked. Something. . . something. . . something said?Something had been said? Yes, that was it. But what was it? Had Allie said anything on the phone? That had been when it started, and he ran through the conversation again. What had she said? H she had checked in, had done some shopping. Left her number. That’s about all.He thought about her then. He loved her, he was sure of that. Not only was she beautiful and charming, but she’d become his source of stability and best friend as well. After a hard day at work, she was the first person he would call. She would listen to him, laugh at the right moments, and had a sixth sense about what he needed to hear. He knew he should spend more time with her. But practising law made limiting his hours impossible. She’d always understood, but still he cursed himself for not making the time. Once he was married he’d shorten his hours, he promised himself. He’d have his secretary check his schedule to make sure he wasn’t overextending himself.Check? .And his mind clicked another notch. Check . . . checking… . checking in? He looked to the ceiling. Checking in?Yes, that was it. He closed his eyes and thought for a second. What, then? C’mon, don’t fail now. Think, damn it, think.New Bern.The thought popped into his head. Yes. New Bern. That was it. The little detail, or part of it. What else, though?New Bern, he thought again, and knew the name. Knew the town a little, mainly from a few trials he had been in. Stopped there a few times on the way to the coast. Nothing special. He and Allie had never been there together.But Allie had been there before.And the rack tightened its grip, another part coming together.Allie, New Bern . . . and . . . something at a party. A comment in passing. From Allie’s mother. What had she said?Lon paled then, remembering. Remembering what Allie’s mother had said so long ago. It was something about Allie being in love one time with a young man from New Bern. Called it puppy love. So what, he had thought when he’d heard it, and had turned to smile at Allie. But she hadn’t smiled. She was angry. And then Lon guessed that she had loved that person far more deeply than her mother had suggested. Maybe more deeply than she loved Lon.And now she was there. Interesting. Lon brought his palms together, as though he were praying, resting his fingertips against his lips. Coincidence? Could he nothing. Could he exactly what she said. Could be stress and antique shopping. Possible. Even probable.Yet . . . what if? Lon considered the other possibility, and for the first time in a long while he became frightened. What if she’s with him?He made up his mind then that he would do anything it took to keep her. She was everything he’d always needed, and he’d never find another quite like her.So, with trembling hands, he dialled the phone for the fourth and last time that evening.And again there was no answer.ALLIE WOKE early the next morning. She’d slept in the shirt he’d given her, and she smelt him once again while thinking about the evening they’d spent together. The easy laughter and conversation came hack to her, and she especially remembered the way he’d talked about her painting. It was so unexpected, yet uplifting, and she realized how sorry she would have been had she decided not to see him again.She looked out of the window and watched the chattering birds search for food in the early light. Noah, she knew, had always been a morning person. She knew he liked to kayak or canoe, and she remembered one morning she’d spent with him in his canoe, watching the sun come up. She’d had to sneak out of her window to do it because her parents wouldn’t allow it, but she hadn’t been caught and she remembered how Noah had slipped his arm around her and pulled her close as dawn began to unfold. “Look there,” he’d whispered, and she’d watched her first sunrise with her head on his shoulder, wondering if anything could he better than that moment.As she got out of bed to take her bath, feeling the cold floor beneath her feet, she wondered if he’d been on the water this morning watching another day begin, thinking somehow he probably had.SHE WAS RIGHT. Noah was up before the sun and dressed quickly, same jeans as last night, undershirt, clean flannel shirt, blue jacket and boots. He drank a quick glass of milk and grabbed two biscuits on the way out of the door. After Clem greeted him with a couple of sloppy licks, he walked to the dock where his kayak was stored. He liked to let the river work its magic, loosening up his muscles, warming his body, clearing his mind.The old kayak, well used and river-stained, hung on two rusty hooks attached to his dock, just above the water line. He lifted it free, inspected it quickly, then took it to the hank. In a couple of seasoned moves, long since mastered by habit, he had it in the water and was working his way upstream, paddling hard, working off the tension, preparing for the day.Questions danced in his mind. He wondered about Lon and what type of man he was, wondered about their relationship. Most of all, though, he wondered about Allie and why she had come.By the time he reached home, he felt renewed. Checking his watch, he was surprised to find that it had taken two hours. Time always played tricks out there.He hung the kayak to dry and went to the shed where he stored his two-man canoe. He carried it to the hank, leaving it a few feet from the water, and turned towards the house. In the western sky he saw storm clouds, thick and heavy, far off but definitely present. The winds weren’t blowing hard but they were bringing the clouds closer. From the look of them he didn’t want to he outside when they got here. Damn. How much time did he have? A few hours, maybe more.He showered, put on new jeans, a red shirt and black cowboy boots, brushed his hair and went downstairs to the kitchen. He did the dishes from the night before, picked up a little around the house, made himself some coffee and went to the porch. The sky was darker now and he checked the barometer. Steady, but it would start dropping soon.He’d learned long ago to never underestimate the weather, and he wondered if it was a good idea to go out. The rain he could deal with, lightning was a different story. A canoe was no place to he when electricity sparked in humid air.He finished his coffee, putting off the decision until later. He went to the toolshed and found his axe. After checking the blade by pressing his thumb to it, he sharpened it with a whetstone until it was ready.He spent the next twenty minutes splitting and stacking logs. He did it easily, his strokes efficient, and didn’t break a sweat. He put a few logs off to the side for later and brought them inside when he was finished, stacking them by the fireplace.He looked at Allie’s painting and reached out to touch it, bringing back the feelings of disbelief at seeing her again. God, what was it about her that made him feel this way? Even after all these years? What sort of power did she have over him?He finally turned away, shaking his head, and went back to the porch. He checked the barometer again. It hadn’t changed. Then he looked at his watch.Allie should he here soon.ALLIE SPENT the morning downtown. The Depression had taken its toll, but she could see signs of prosperity beginning to work their way hack. Fort Totten Park looked exactly the same as it had fourteen years ago, and the kids who played on the swings after school probably looked the same as well. She smiled at the memory then, thinking back to when things were simpler. Or at least had seemed to be.Now, nothing was simple. She wondered what she would have been doing now, had she never seen the article in the paper. It wasn’t very difficult to imagine, because her routines seldom changed. It was Wednesday, which meant bridge at the country club, then on to the Junior Women’s League, where they would probably he arranging another fund-raiser for the private school or hospital. After that, a visit to her mother, then home to get ready for dinner with Lon, because he made it a point to leave work by seven. It was the one night a week she saw him regularly.She suppressed a feeling of sadness about that, hoping that one day he would change. He had often promised to and usually followed through for a few weeks before drifting back to the same schedule. “I can’t tonight, honey.” he would explain, “I’m sorry, but I can’t. Let me make it up to you later.”She didn’t like to argue, mostly because she knew he was telling the truth. Trial work was demanding, both beforehand and during, yet she couldn’t help wondering sometimes why he had spent so much time courting her if he didn’t want to spend time with her now.She passed an art gallery on Front Street, almost walked by it in her preoccupation, then turned and went back. She paused at the door for a second, surprised at how long it had been since she’d been in one. At least three years, maybe longer.She went inside and browsed among the paintings. Many of the artists were local, and there was a strong sea flavour to their works.On one wall, though, there were a few paintings more suited to her tastes, by an artist she’d never heard of. Most appeared to have been inspired by the architecture of the Greek islands. In the painting she liked the best, she noted the artist had purposely exaggerated the scene with smaller-than-life figures, wide lines and heavy sweeps of vivid, swirling colour, drawing the eye, almost directing what it should see next. It was dynamic, dramatic. She considered buying it before she realized that she liked it because it reminded her of her own work. She examined it more closely and thought to herself that maybe Noah was right. Maybe she should start painting again.At nine thirty Allie left the gallery and went to Hoffman-Lane, a department store. It took a few minutes to find what she was looking for. Paper, drawing chalk and pencils, not high quality but good enough. It wasn’t painting, but it was a start, and she was excited by the time she got back to her room.She sat at the desk and started working: nothing specific, just getting the feel of it again, letting shapes and colours flow from the memory of her youth. After a few minutes, she did a rough sketch of the street scene as seen from her room, amazed at how easily it came. It was almost as if she’d never stopped.She examined it when she was finished, pleased with the effort. She wondered what to try next and finally decided. Since she didn’t have a model, she visualized it in her head before starting. And though it was harder than the street scene, it began to take form.Minutes passed quickly. She worked steadily, checking the time frequently so she wouldn’t be late, and finished it a little before noon. It had taken almost two hours, but the end result surprised her. It looked as though it had taken a great deal longer. After rolling it up, she put it in a bag and collected the rest of her things. On her way out of the door, she looked at herself in the mirror, feeling oddly relaxed, not exactly sure why.Down the stairs again and out of the door. As she left she heard a voice behind her. “Miss?”She turned. The manager. The same man as yesterday, a curious look on his face.“Yes?”“You had some calls last night.”She was shocked. “I did?”“Yes. All from a Mr. Hammond.”Oh, God. “Lon called?”“Yes, ma’am, four times. He was concerned about you. He said he was your fiancé.”She smiled weakly, trying to hide what she was thinking. Four times? Four? What could that mean? What if something had happened back home? “Did he say anything? Is it an emergency?”He shook his head quickly. “He really didn’t say, miss. Actually, he sounded more concerned about you.”Good, she thought. That’s good. And then, just as suddenly, a pang in her chest. Why so many calls? Had she said anything yesterday? Why would he be so persistent? It was completely unlike him. Was there any way he could have found out? No, that was impossible. Unless someone saw her here yesterday and called… But they would have had to follow her out to Noah’s. No one would have done that.She had to call him now: no way to get around it. But she didn’t want to. This was her time, and she wanted to spend it doing what she wanted. She hadn’t planned on speaking to him until later, and she felt almost as if talking to him now would spoil the day. Besides, what was she going to say? How could she explain being out so late? A late dinner and then a walk? Maybe. Or a movie? Or.“Miss?”Almost noon, she thought. Where would he be? His office, probably . . . no. In court, she suddenly realized, and immediately felt as if she’d been released from shackles. There was no way she could talk to him, even if she wanted to. She was surprised by her feelings. She shouldn’t feel this way, she knew, and yet it didn’t bother her. She looked at her watch, acting now.“Is it really almost twelve?”The manager looked at the clock. “Yes, a quarter to.”“Unfortunately,” she started, “he’s in court right now and I can’t reach him. If he does call again, could you tell him I’m shopping and that I’ll try to call him later?”“Of course,” he answered. She could see the question in his eyes, though: But where were you last night? He had known exactly when she’d come in. Too late for a single woman in this small town.“Thank you.” she said, smiling. “I’d appreciate it.”Two minutes later she was in her car, driving to Noah’s, anticipating the day, largely unconcerned about the phone calls. Yesterday she would have been, and she wondered what that meant.As she was driving over the drawbridge less than four minutes after she’d left the inn, Lon called from the courthouse.17NOAH WAS sitting in his rocker, drinking sweet tea, listening for the car, when he finally heard it turn up the drive. He went around to the front and watched the car pull up and park beneath the oak tree again. Same spot as yesterday. Clem harked a greeting at her car door, tail wagging, and Noah saw Allie wave from inside the car.She stepped out, patted Clem on the head, then turned, smiling.  It was different today, though. Newer feelings now, not simply memories any more. If anything, his attraction for her had grown stronger overnight, and it made him feel a little nervous in her presence.Allie met him halfway, carrying a small bag. She surprised him by kissing him gently on the cheek, her free hand lingering at his waist after she pulled back.“Hi,” she said, radiance in her eyes, “where’s the surprise?” He relaxed a little, thanking God for that. “Not even a ‘good afternoon’ or ‘how was your night?’”She smiled. Patience had never been one of her strongest attributes.“Fine. Good afternoon. How was your night? And where’s the surprise?”He chuckled lightly, then paused. “Allie, I’ve got some bad news. I was going to take you someplace, but with those clouds coming in I’m not sure we should go.”“Its not raining yet How far is it?”“Up the creek about a mile.”“And I’ve never been there before?”“Not when it was like this.”She thought for a second while she looked around. When she spoke, her voice was determined. “Then we’ll go. I don’t care if it rains.”“Are you sure?”“Absolutely.”He looked at the clouds again, noting their approach. “Then we’d better go now,” he said. “Can I bring that in for you?’She nodded, handing her bag to him, and he jogged to the house and took it inside, placing it on a chair in the living room. Then he grabbed some bread and put it in a bag, bringing it with him as he left the house.They walked to the canoe, Allie beside him. A little closer than yesterday.“What exactly is this place?”“You’ll see.”“You’re not even going to give me a hint?” “Well,” he said, “do you remember when we took the canoe out and watched the sun come up?”“I thought about it this morning. I remember it made me cry?’“What you’re going to sec today makes what you saw then seem ordinary?“I guess I should feel special.”He took a few steps before responding. “You are special,” he finally said, and the way he said it made her wonder if he wanted to add something else. But he didn’t, and Allie smiled a little before glancing away. As she did, she felt the wind in her face and noticed it had picked up since the morning.They reached the jetty and, after tossing the bag in the canoe, Noah quickly checked to make sure he hadn’t missed anything, then slid the canoe to the water.Can I do anything?”“No, just get in.”After she climbed in, he pushed the canoe further into the water. Then he gracefully stepped off the jetty into the canoe, placing his feet carefully to prevent it from capsizing. Allie was impressed by his agility, knowing that what he had done so quickly and easily was harder than it looked.She sat at the front of the canoe, facing backwards. Noah had said something about missing the view when he started to paddle, but she’d shaken her head, saying she was fine the way she was.And it was true. She could see everything she really wanted to see if she turned her head, but most of all she wanted to watch Noah. It was him she’d come to see, not the creek. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, and she could see his chest muscles flex with every stroke. His sleeves were rolled up too, and she could see the well-developed muscles in his arms.Artistic, she thought. There’s something almost artistic about him. Something natural, as if being on the water were beyond his control, part of a gene passed on to him from some obscure hereditary pool.She couldn’t think of anyone else who remotely resembled him. He was complicated, almost contradictory in so many ways, yet simple, a strangely erotic combination. On the surface he was a country boy, home from war, and he probably saw himself in those terms. Yet there was so much more to him. Perhaps it was the poetry that made him different, or perhaps it was the values his father had instilled in him, growing up. Either way, he seemed to savour life more fully than others appeared to, and that was what had first attracted her to him.“What arc you thinking?”She felt her insides jump just a hit as Noah’s voice brought her back to the present. She realized she hadn’t said much since they’d started, and she appreciated the silence he had allowed her. He’d always been considerate like that.“Good things,” she answered quietly, and she saw in his eyes that he knew she was thinking about him. She liked the fact that he knew it, and she hoped he had been thinking about her as well.She understood then that something was stirring within her, as it had so many years ago. Watching his body move made her feel it. And as their eyes met for a second, she felt the heat in her neck and breasts, and she flushed, turning away before he noticed.“How much further?” she asked.“Another half-mile or so. Not any more than that.”A pause. Then she said: “Tell me, Noah, what do you remember most from the summer we spent together?”“All of it.”“Anything in particular?”“No,” he said.“You don’t remember?”He answered quietly. “No, it’s not that. It’s not what you’re thinking. I was serious when I said ‘all of it.’ I can remember every moment we were together, and in each of them there was something wonderful. I can’t pick any one time that meant more than any other. The entire summer was perfect, the kind of summer everyone should have. How could I pick one moment over another?“Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”Allie stared at him. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. Ever. She didn’t know what to say and stayed silent, her face hot.“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, Allie. I didn’t mean to. But that summer has stayed with me and probably always will. I know it can’t be the same between us, but that doesn’t change the way I felt about you then.”“It didn’t make me uncomfortable. Noah ... It’s just that I don’t ever hear things like that. What you said was beautiful. It takes a poet to talk the way you do. and like I said, you’re the only poet I’ve ever met.”Peaceful silence descended on them. An osprey cried somewhere in the distance. The paddle moved rhythmically, causing ripples that rocked the boat ever so slightly. The breeze had stopped, and the clouds grew blacker as the canoe moved onwards.Allie noticed it all, every sound, every thought. Her senses had come alive, invigorating her, and she felt strangely satisfied that she’d come, pleased that Noah had turned into the type of man she’d thought he would, pleased that she would live for ever with that knowledge. She had seen too many men in the past few years destroyed by war, or time, or even money. It took strength to hold on to inner passion, and Noah had done that.This was a worker’s world, not a poet’s, and people would have a hard time understanding Noah. Who did she know in Raleigh who took time off to fix a house? Or read Whitman or Eliot? Or hunt at dawn from the bow of a canoe? These weren’t the things that drove society, but she felt they made living worth while.To her it was the same with art, though she had realized it only upon coming here. Or rather, remembered it. She had known it once before, and again she cursed herself for forgetting something as important as creating beauty. Painting was what she was meant to do, she was sure of that now. She was going to give it another shot, no matter what anyone said.Would Lon encourage her painting? She remembered showing him one of her paintings a couple of months after they had first started going out. It was abstract, meant to inspire thought. Lon had stared at it, and then had asked her what it was supposed to he,She knew she wasn’t being completely fair. She loved Lou, and always had, for other reasons. Lon was a good man, the kind of man she’d always known she would marry. With him there would be no surprises, and ‘there was comfort in knowing what the future would bring. He would be a kind husband and she would be a good wife. She would have a home near friends and family, children, a respectable place in society. It was the kind of life she’d always expected to live. And though she wouldn’t describe theirs as a passionate relationship, she had convinced herself long ago that this wasn’t necessary for fulfilment. Passion would fade in time and things like companionship and compatibility would take its place. She and Lon had this, and she had assumed this was all she needed.But now, as she watched Noah rowing, she questioned this assumption. He exuded sexuality in everything he did, everything he was, and she caught herself thinking about him in a way that an engaged woman shouldn’t. She tried not to stare, but the easy way he moved his body made it hard to keep her eyes from him for long.“Here we are,” Noah said as he guided the canoe towards some trees near the bank.Allie looked around, not seeing anything. “Where is it?”“Here,” he said again, pointing the canoe at a fallen tree that was almost completely obscuring an opening.He guided the canoe around the tree, and both of them had to lower their heads to keep from bumping them.“Close your eyes,” he whispered, and Allie did, bringing her hands to her face. She felt the movement of the canoe as he propelled it forwards, away from the pull of the creek.“Okay.” he finally said after he’d stopped paddling. “You can open them now.”THEY SAT in the middle of a small lake fed by the waters of Brices Creek. It wasn’t large, maybe a hundred yards across, and she was surprised at how invisible it had been just moments before.It was spectacular. Tundra swan and Canada geese literally surrounded them. Thousands of them. Birds floating so close together in some places that she couldn’t see the water. From a distance, the groups of swans looked almost like icebergs.“Oh. Noah,” she finally said softly, “it’s beautiful.”They sat in silence for a long while, watching the birds. Noah pointed out a group of chicks, recently hatched, following a pack of geese near the shore, struggling to keep up.The air was filled with honking and chirping as Noah moved the canoe through the water. The birds ignored them for the most part. The only ones that seemed bothered were those forced to move when the canoe approached them. Allie reached out to touch the closest ones and felt their feathers ruffling under her fingers.Noah took out the bread he’d brought in his bag and handed it to Allie. She scattered it, favouring the little ones, laughing and smiling as they swam in circles looking for food.They stayed until thunder boomed in the distance—faint hut powerful—and both of them knew it was time to leave.Noah paddled the canoe hack to the main creek. She was still amazed by what she had seen.“Noah, what are they doing here?”“I don’t know. I know the swans from up north migrate to Lake Matamuskeet every winter, hut I guess they came here this time. I don’t know why. Maybe the early blizzard had something to do with it. Maybe they got off track or something. They’ll find their way back, though. They’re driven by instinct, and this isn’t their place. Some of the geese may winter here, hut the swans will go back to Matamuskeet.”Noah paddled hard as dark clouds rolled directly overhead. Soon rain began to fall, a light sprinkle at first, then gradually harder. Lightning . . . a pause . . . then thunder again. A little louder now. Maybe six or seven miles away. More rain as Noah began to paddle even harder, his muscles tightening with every stroke.Thicker drops now, falling hard. Noah rowing... getting wet… cursing to himself ... losing to Mother Nature.Allie watched the rain fall diagonally from the sky as it rode on westerly winds that whistled over the trees. The sky darkened a little more. She leaned her head back for a moment to let it hit her face. She ran her hands through her hair, feeling its wetness. It felt wonderful, she felt wonderful. Even through the rain she could hear him breathing hard, and the sound aroused her sexually in a way she hadn’t felt in years.A cloud burst directly above them and the rain began to come down harder than she’d ever seen it. Allie looked upwards and laughed, giving up any attempt at keeping dry, making Noah feel better. Even though she’d made the decision to come, he doubted that she’d expected to be caught in a storm like this. They reached the dock a couple of minutes later, and Noah moved in close enough for Allie to step out. He helped her up, then got out himself and dragged the canoe up the bank, tying it to the jetty.As he was tying the canoe, he looked up at Allie and stopped breathing for just a second. She was incredibly beautiful as she waited, watching him. She didn’t try to keep dry or hide herself, and he could see the outline of her breasts as they pressed through the fabric of the dress that clung tightly to her body. He quickly turned away, embarrassed. When he finished and stood, Allie took his hands in hers, surprising him. Despite the downpour, they didn’t rush towards the house, and Noah imagined what it would be like to spend the night with her.Allie felt the warmth in his hands and wondered what it would be like to have them touch her body, lingering slowly across her skin. Just thinking about it made her take a deep breath. She realized then that something had changed. And although she couldn’t pinpoint the exact time—yesterday after dinner, or this afternoon in the canoe, or when they saw the swans, or maybe even now as they walked holding hands—she knew that she had fallen in love with Noah Taylor Calhoun again, and that maybe, just maybe, she had never stopped.THERE WAS no uneasiness between them as they reached the door and went inside, pausing in the hall, clothes dripping.‘I think I can find something here for you so you can get out of those clothes. It might be a little big, but it’s warm.”“Anything,” she said.“I’ll be back in a second.”Noah slipped off his boots, then ran up the stairs, descending a minute later. He had a pair of cotton trousers and a long-sleeved shin under one arm and some jeans with a blue shirt in the other.“Here,’ he said, handing her the cotton trousers and shirt. “You can change in the bedroom upstairs. There’s a bathroom and towel up there too if you want to shower.”She thanked him with a smile and went upstairs, feeling his eyes on her as she walked. She entered the bedroom and closed the door, then set the trousers and shirt on his bed and peeled everything off. Naked, she went to his closet and found a hanger, put her dress, bra and panties on it, and then went to hang it in the bathroom so it wouldn’t drip on the hardwood floor. She felt a secret thrill at being naked in the same room he slept in.She didn’t want to shower after being in the rain. She liked the soft feeling on her skin. She slipped on his clothes before looking at herself in the mirror. The trousers were big, but tucking in the shin helped, and she rolled up the bottoms just a little so they wouldn’t drag. The neck was torn a little, but she liked the way it looked on her anyway. She pulled the sleeves up almost to the elbows, went to the chest of drawers and slipped on some socks, then went to the bathroom to find a hairbrush.She brushed her wet hair just enough to get out the tangles, letting it rest on her shoulders. Looking in the mirror, she wished she had brought a clasp or a couple of hairpins. And a little more mascara. Her eyes still had a little of what she’d put on earlier, and she touched up with a flannel, doing the best she could.When she was finished, she checked herself in the mirror, feeling pretty despite everything, and went back downstairs.Noah was in the living room squatting before a fire, doing his best to coax it to life. He didn’t see her come in, and she watched him as he worked. He had changed his clothes as well and looked good: his shoulders broad, wet hair hanging just over his collar.He poked the fire, moving the logs, and added some more kindling. Allie leaned against the doorjamb, one leg crossed over the other, and continued to watch him. In a few minutes the fire had turned to flames, even and steady. He turned to the side to straighten the remaining unused logs and caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. He looked up quickly.Even in his clothes she looked beautiful. After a moment he shyly went back to stacking the logs.“I didn’t hear you come in.” he said, trying to sound casual. “How long have you been standing there?”“A couple of minutes.”Noah brushed his hands on his jeans, then pointed to the kitchen. “Can I get you some tea? I started the water while you were upstairs.” Small talk, anything to keep his mind clear. But damn, the way she looked...She thought for a second. Do you have anything stronger, or is it too early to drink?”He smiled. “I have some bourbon in the pantry. Is that okay?”“That sounds great.” He started towards the kitchen, and Allie watched him run his hand through his wet hair as he disappeared.Thunder boomed loudly and another downpour started. Allie could hear the roaring of the rain on the roof, could hear the snapping of lop as the flickering flames lit the room. She took a quilt from the sofa and sat on the rug in front of the fire. Crossing her legs, she adjusted the quilt until she was comfortable and watched the dancing flames. Noah came back, saw what she had done, and went to sit beside her. He put down two glasses and poured some bourbon into each of them. Outside, the sky grew darker. Thunder again. Loud. The storm in full fury, winds whipping the rain in circles.“It’s quite a storm,” Noah said as he watched the drops flow in vertical streams on the windows. He and Allie were close now, though not touching, and Noah watched her chest rise slightly with every breath, imagining the feel of her body once again before fighting back the thought“I like it,” she said, taking a sip. “I’ve always liked thunderstorms. Even as a young girl.”“Why?” Saying anything, keeping his balance.“I don’t know. They just always seemed romantic to me.”She was quiet for a moment, and Noah watched the fire flicker in her emerald eyes. Then she said, “Do you remember sitting together and watching the storm a few nights before I left?”“Of course.”“I used to think about it all the time after I went home. I always thought about how you looked that night. It was the way I remembered you.”“Have I changed much?”She took another sip of bourbon, feeling it warm her. She touched his hand as she answered.“Not really. Not in the things that I remember. You’re older, of course, with more life behind you, but you’ve still got the same gleam in your eye. You still read poetry and float on rivers. And you’ve still got a gentleness that not even the war could take away.”He thought about what she’d said and felt her hand lingering on his, her thumb tracing slow circles.“Allie, you asked me earlier what I remembered most about the summer. What do you remember?”It was a while before she answered. &I remember making love. That's what I remember most. You were my first, and it was more wonderful than I ever thought it would be.&Noah took a drink of bourbon, remembering, bringing back the old feelings.She went on. &I remember being so afraid beforehand that I was trembling, but at the same time being so excited. I'm glad you were the first. I'm glad we were able to share that.&&Me too.&&Were you as afraid as I was?&Noah nodded without speaking, and she smiled at his honesty.She squeezed his hand, let go, and moved closer. She put her hand through his arm, cradling it, and rested her head on his shoulder. He could smell her, soft like the rain, warm. She spoke quietly. &Do you remember walking home after the festival? I asked you if you wanted to see me again. You just nodded your head and didn't say a word. It wasn’t too convincing.&&I'd never met anyone like you. I didn't know what to say.&&I know. You could never hide anything. Your eyes always gave you away. You had the most wonderful eyes I'd ever seen.& She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked directly at him. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. &I think I loved you more that summer than I ever loved anyone.&Lightning flashed again. In the quiet moments before the thunder, their eyes met as they tried to undo fourteen years. When the thunder finally sounded, Noah sighed and turned from her, towards the windows.&I wish you could have read the letters I wrote you,& he said.She didn't speak for a while.&It wasn't just up to you, Noah. I didn’t tell you, but I wrote you a dozen letters after I got home. I just never sent them.&&Why?& Noah was surprised.&I guess I was too afraid.&&Of what?& &That maybe it wasn’t as real as I thought it was. That maybe you forgot me.&&I would never do that. I couldn't even think it.&&I know that now. I can see it when I took at you. But back then it was different. There was so much I didn't understand, things that a young girl's mind couldn't sort out.&&What do you mean?”&When your letters never came, I didn't know what to think. I remember talking to my best friend about that summer, and she said that you had got what you wanted, and that she wasn't surprised that you wouldn't write. I didn't believe that you were that way, I never did, but hearing it and thinking about all our differences made me wonder if maybe the summer meant more to me than it had meant to you ...”   Noah looked away and she continued. &In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving-someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer.&&You're better than I remembered, Allie.&&You're sweet, Noah.&He almost stopped there, knowing that if he kept the words inside him he could keep control, the same control he had kept the past fourteen years. But then something overtook him and he gave in to it, hoping it would take them back to what they'd had so long ago.&I'm not saying it because I'm sweet. I'm saying it because I love you now and I always have. More than you can imagine.&A log snapped, sending sparks up the chimney, and both of them noticed the smouldering remains, almost burned through.Allie took a sip of bourbon and began to feel its effects. But it wasn’t Just the alcohol that made her hold Noah a little tighter and feet his warmth against her. Glancing out of the window, she saw the clouds were almost black. &Noah, you've never asked, but I want you to know something.&&What is it?&Her voice was tender. &There's never been another, Noah. You weren't just the first. You're the only man-I've ever been with, I don’t expect you to say the same thing, but I wanted you to know.&Noah was silent as he turned away. She felt warmer as she watched the fire. She leaned into him and felt the heat between them, felt his body, felt his arm tight around her. It felt so right to be here. Everything felt right. The fire, the drinks, the storm—itcouldn't have been more perfect. It seemed their years apart didn't matter any more.They gave in then to everything they had fought against for the last fourteen years. Allie lifted her head off his shoulder, looked at him with hazy eyes, and Noah kissed her softly on the lips. She brought her hand to his face and touched his cheek, brushing it softly with her fingers. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly, and she kissed back, feeling the years of separation dissolve into passion.She closed her eyes and parted her lips as he ran his fingers up and down her arms, slowly, lightly. He kissed her neck, her cheek, her eyelids, and she felt the moisture of his mouth linger wherever his lips had touched. She took his hand and led it to her breasts, and a whimper rose in her throat as he gently touched them through the thin fabric of the shirt.The world seemed dreamlike as she pulled back from him, the firelight setting her face aglow. Without speaking, she started to undo the buttons on his shirt. He watched her as she did it and listened to her soft breaths as she made her way downwards. With each button he could feel her fingers brushing against his skin, and she smiled softly at him when she finally finished. He felt her slide her hands inside, touching him lightly, exploring his body. She kissed his neck gently as she pulled the shirt over his shoulders, freeing the sleeves. With that, he slowly reached for her. He lifted her shirt and ran his finger slowly across her belly before raising her arms and slipping it off. She felt short of breath as his hands gently caressed her back, her arms, her shoulders, and she felt their heated bodies press together, skin to skin.They lay back, close to the fire, and the heat made the air seem thick. She ran her hands through his hair as he held himself above her, his arm muscles hard from the exertion. With a little tempting frown, she pulled him closer, but he resisted. Instead he lowered himself and lightly rubbed his chest against her, and she felt her body respond with anticipation.He did this until she couldn't take it any more, and when they finally joined as one, she cried aloud and pressed her fingers hard into his back. She buried her face in his neck and felt him deep inside her, felt his strength and gentleness.She opened her eyes and watched him in the firelight, marvelling at his beauty. She saw his body glisten with crystal sweat and felt every responsibility, every facet of her life, slipping away.By the time the rain had stopped and the sun had set, her body was exhausted. They spent the day in each other's arms, alternately making love by the fire and then holding each other as they watched the flames curl around the wood. He recited his favourite poems as she lay beside him, and she listened with her eyes closed and almost felt the words. Then they joined again and he murmured words of love between kisses as they wrapped their arms around one another.They went on throughout the evening, making up for their years apart, and slept in each other's arms that night. Occasionally he would wake up and look at her, her body spent and radiant, and feel as if everything were suddenly tight in this world.Once, when he was looking at her in the moments before daybreak, her eyes fluttered open and she smiled and reached up to touch his face. He put his fingers to her lips, gently, to keep her from speaking, and for a long time they just looked at one another.When the lump in his throat subsided, he whispered to her, &You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. I love you, Allie, more than you can ever imagine, I always have and I always will.&&Oh, Noah,& she said, pulling him to her. She wanted him, needed him now more than ever, like nothing she'd ever known.18LATER THAT same morning, three men - two lawyers and the judge—sat in chambers while Lon finished speaking.&It’s an unusual request,& the judge answered, pondering the situation. &It seems to me the trial could very well end today. Are you saying this matter can't wait until later this evening or tomorrow?&&No, your honour, it cant,& Lon answered almost too quickly. Stay relaxed, he told himself. Take a deep breath.&And it has nothing to do with this case?&&No, your honour. It's of a personal nature. I know it's out of the ordinary, but I really need to take care of it.&The judge leaned back in his chair, evaluating him for a moment. &Mr. Bates, how do you feel about this?&The lawyer cleared his throat. &Mr. Hammond called me this morning arid I've already spoken to my clients. They're willing to postpone until Monday. Mr. Hammond has agreed in return to reopen discussion on a certain matter not covered by this proceeding.&The judge looked hard at both of them. &I don't like it,& he said, &not at all. But Mr. Hammond has never made such a request before, and I assume the matter is very important to him.& He banged for effect, then looked at some papers on his desk. &I'll agree to adjourn until M Nine o'clock sharp.&&Thank you, your honour.” Lon said.Two minutes later he was leaving the courthouse. He walked to the car he had parked directly across the street, got in and began the drive to New Bern, his hands shaking,NOAH MADE breakfast for Allie while she slept in the living room. Bacon, rolls and coffee, nothing spectacular. He set the tray beside her as she woke up, and as soon as they had finished eating they made love again, in powerful confirmation of what they had shared the day before.They showered and afterwards Allie put on her dress, which had dried overnight She spent the morning with Noah, Together they fed Clem and checked the windows to make sure no damage bad been done in the storm. Two pine trees bad blown over, though neither had caused much damage, and a few shingles had Mown off the shed, but, other than that, the property had escaped unscathed.He held her hand most of the morning and they talked easily, but sometimes he would stop speaking and just stare at her. When he did, she felt as though she should say something, but nothing meaningful ever came into her head. She usually just kissed him.A little before noon, Noah and Allie went in to prepare lunch. Using what he had on hand, they tried some chicken and baked another batch of bread rolls, and the two of them ate on the porch, serenaded by a mockingbird. While they were inside doing the dishes* they heard a knock at the door, Noah left Allie in the kitchen.Knock, knock. Louder.Noah approached the door. Knock, knock.&I'm coming,& he said as he opened the door. &Oh, my God.&He stared for a moment at a beautiful woman in her early fifties, a woman he would have recognized anywhere.&Hello, Noah,& she said.Noah said nothing.“May I come in?& she asked, her voice steady, revealing nothing.He stammered out a reply as she walked past him, stopping just before the stairs.&Who is it?& Allie shouted from the kitchen, and the woman turned at the sound of her voice.&It's your mother.” Noah finally answered, and immediately after he said it he heard the sound of breaking glass.&I knew you would be here,& Anne Nelson said to her daughter as the three of them sat around the coffee table in the living room.&How could you be so sure?&    &You're my daughter. One day when you have kids of your own, you'll know the answer.& She smiled, but her manner was stiff, and Noah imagined how difficult this must be for her. &I saw the article, too, and I saw your reaction. I also saw how tense you've been during the last couple of weeks, and when you said you were going shopping near the coast, I knew exactly what you meant.&&What about daddy?&Anne Nelson shook her head, &No, I didn't tell your father or anyone else about it. Nor did I tell anyone where I was going today.&&Why did you come?& Allie asked.&I came because I had to,& her mother said, &which I'm sure is the same reason you came. Am I right?&Allie nodded.Anne turned to Noah. &I know you don't think so, but I always liked you. I just didn't think you were right for my daughter. Can you understand that?&He shook his head as he answered. &No, not really. It wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn't fair to Allie. Otherwise she wouldn't be here.& She watched him as he answered, but she said nothing. Allie, sensing an argument, cut in. &What do you mean when you say you had to come? Don't you trust me?&Anne turned back to her daughter. &This has nothing to do with trust. This has to do with Lon. He called the house last night to talk to me about Noah, and he's on his way here right now. He seemed very upset. I thought you'd want to know.&Allie inhaled sharply. &He's on his way?&&As we speak. He arranged to have the trial postponed until next week. If he's not in New Bern yet, he's close.&&What did you say to him?&&Not much. But he knew. He had it all figured out. He remembered my telling him about Noah a long time ago.”Allie swallowed hard, &Did you tell him I was here?&&No. And I won't. That's between you and him. But knowing him, I'm sure he'll find you. All it takes is a couple of phone calls to the right people. After all, I was able to find you,&Allie, though obviously wearied, smiled at her mother. &Thank you,& she said, and her mother readied for her hand.&I know we've had our differences, Allie, and that we haven't seen eye to eye on everything. But I'm-your mother and that means I’ll always love you.&Allie was silent for a moment, then: &What should I do?&&I don’t know, Allie, That's up to you. But I would think about it. Think about what you really want.”Allie turned away, her eyes reddening. A moment later a tear drifted down her cheek. &I don't know . . . & She trailed off, and her mother squeezed her hand.Anne looked at Noah, who had been sitting with his head down, listening carefully. As if on cue, he returned her gaze, nodded and left the room.When he was gone, Anne whispered, &Do you love him?&&Yes, I do,& Allie answered softly, &very much.&&Do you love Lon?&&Yes, I do. I love him, too. Dearly, but in a different way. He doesn't make me feel the way Noah does.&&No one will ever do that,& her mother said, and she released Allie's hand. &I can't make this decision for you, Allie, this one's all yours. I want you to know, though, that I love you. And I always will. I know that doesn't help, but it's all I can do.&She reached in her handbag and removed a bundle of letters held together with string, the envelopes old and slightly yellowed.&These are the letters that Noah wrote to you. I never threw them away, and they haven't been opened. I know I shouldn't have kept them from you, and I'm sorry for that. But I was just trying to protect you. I didn't realize...”Allie took them and ran her hand over them, shocked.&I should go, Allie. You've got some decisions to make, and you don't have much time. Do you want me to stay in town?”Allie shook her head, &No, this is up to me.&Anne nodded and watched her daughter for a moment, wondering. Finally she stood, went around the table, leaned over and kissed Allie on the cheek. She could see the confusion in her daughter's eyes as Allie embraced her.They stood together for another minute, just holding each other.&Thanks for coming, Allie said, “I love you.&&I love you too.&As her mother made her way out of the living room, Allie thought that she heard her whisper, &Follow your heart,” but she couldn’t be sure,NOAH OPENED the door for Anne Nelson as she went out.“Goodbye Noah,& she said quietly. He nodded without speaking. There wasn't
they both knew that. She turned from him and left, closing the door behind her. Noah watched her dim away without looking back. She was a strong woman, he thought to himself, and he knew then where Allie got itNoah peeped into the living room, saw Allie sitting with her head down, then went to the back porch, knowing that she needed to be alone. He sat quietly in his rocker and watched the waterAfter what seemed like an eternity he heard the back door open. He didn’t turn to look at her—for some reason he couldn’t-and he listened as she sat in the chair beside him.“I’m sorry,& Allie said. &I bad no idea this would happen.&Noah shook his head. &Don't be sorry. We both knew it was coming to some form or another.&&It’s still hard.”&I know.& He finally turned to her, reaching for her hand. &Is here anything I can do to make it easier?&She shook her head. &No. Not really. I have to do this alone. Besides, I'm not sure what I'm going to say to him yet.& She looked down and her voice became softer. &I guess it depends on him and low much he knows. If my mother was right, he may have suspicions, but he doesn't know anything for sure.&Noah felt tightness in his stomach. When he finally spoke his voice was steady, but she could hear the pain in it. &You're not going to tell him about us, are you?&&I don't know. I really don't. While I was in the living room, I kept asking myself what I really wanted in my life.& She squeezed his hand. &And do you know what the answer was? The answer was that I want you. I want us. I love you and I always have.& She took a deep breath before going on. &But I also want a happy ending without hurting anyone. And I know that if I stayed, people would be hurt. Especially Lon. I wasn't lying when I told you that I love him. He doesn't make me feel the same way you do, but I care for him, and this wouldn't be fair to him. But staying here would also hurt my family and friends. I would be betraying everyone I know ... I don't know if I can do that.&&You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.&&I know,& she said, &but no matter what I choose I have to live with it. For ever. I have to be able to go forward and not look back any more. Can you understand that?&He shook his head and tried to keep his voice steady. &Not really. Not if it means losing you. I can't do that again.&She didn't say anything but lowered her head. Noah went on: &Could you really leave me without looking back?&She bit her lip as she answered. Her voice was beginning to crack. &I don't know. Probably not.&&Would that be fair to Lon?&She didn't answer. Instead she stood up, wiped her face and walked to the edge of the porch where she leaned against the post and watched the water before answering quietly: &No.&&It doesn't have to be like this, Allie,& he said. &We're adults now, we have the choice we didn't have before. We're meant to be together. We always have been.& He walked to her side and put his hand on her shoulder. &I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about you and dreaming of what might have been. Stay with me, Allie.&Tears filled her eyes. &I don't know if I can,& she whispered.&You can. Allie ... I can't live my life happily knowing you're with someone else. That would kill a part of me. What we have is rare. It's too beautiful to just throw it away.&After a moment he gently turned her towards him, took her hands and stared at her, willing her to look at him. Allie finally faced him with moist eyes. After a long silence, Noah brushed the tears from her cheeks with his fingers. His voice caught as he saw what her eyes were telling him. &You're not going to stay, are you?& He smiled weakly. &You want to, but you can't.&&Oh, Noah,& she said as the tears b