请各位评价一下，这篇作文40分制，我能得多少分呢，这是首段，还有哦_百度知道
请各位评价一下，这篇作文40分制，我能得多少分呢，这是首段，还有哦
我有更好的答案
不怎么样，一看就很普通，30分吧
卷面一般，选材普通，没有新意，没有具体的描写
开头很一般，没有吸引力
`俊凯夫人*
来自：作业帮
开头就不好，首先，开头以快乐为中心，而题目是文章的文眼，所写是 乐在其中，所以，开头应点明
乐在其中，这样照应开头，令人深思
如果让我打分，开头就已经给我限定分数线，应该在32分左右
如果让我打分，开头就已经给我限定分数线，应该在32分左右
好的，谢谢
您觉得我的内容怎么样，还有哪里需要改进，请评价一下，谢谢
我要看后面的再评价
请评价一下
请您评价一下谢谢
我哪里需要改进呢
不知道我乱说的
那么多我懒的看
其他3条回答
为您推荐：
其他类似问题
作文的相关知识
换一换
回答问题，赢新手礼包
个人、企业类
违法有害信息,请在下方选择后提交
色情、暴力
我们会通过消息、邮箱等方式尽快将举报结果通知您。大神们给评价一下这篇作文能打几分？谢谢啦！【雅思吧】_百度贴吧
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&签到排名：今日本吧第个签到，本吧因你更精彩，明天继续来努力！
本吧签到人数：0成为超级会员，使用一键签到本月漏签0次！成为超级会员，赠送8张补签卡连续签到：天&&累计签到：天超级会员单次开通12个月以上，赠送连续签到卡3张
关注：238,763贴子：
大神们给评价一下这篇作文能打几分？谢谢啦！收藏
Nowadays, distance learning programmes have gained in popularity (those teaching programmes that involve the use of written materials, video, television, and the Internet), but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those by attending a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?With the advance of the information technology, it has now become possible for people to enroll on and attend courses at home using a computer or TV. Despite the convenience of distance learning, I believe that going to a university in person is indispensable if one intends to master the knowledge in a course.One principal advantage of attending a university is the availability of some equipment. As a matter of fact, university students, especially those who major in engineering and natural science, need to learn the operation of certain machines. These facilities are usually so expensive that students in distance learning programmes are unlikely to afford them. Therefore, they will fail to gain first-hand experience of using those machines, which will prevent them from having intimate knowledge of their subjects.In addition, students’ efficiency of studying will not be guaranteed if they opt for distance education. These students are exposed to a wide variety of information on TV and the Internet, which is likely to distract them from their learning process. This has a particularly great impact on those deficient in self-discipline. For instance, they may be intrigued by a sport game broadcast on the television or a piece of news on a website, and therefore cease to focus on the class and even skip classes, which will result in poor grades of these learners. By contrast, students can enjoy a stimulating and competitive atmosphere if they go to a college in person, and consequently study diligently and achieve their potential.In conclusion, students can benefit in a number of ways by attending a university in person. They should think twice and make sure that they are of good self-restraint before enrolling on a distance tertiary education course.
enroll in吧
语法不通 有点厉害
跪求各位大神给个客观评价吧！
登录百度帐号推荐应用扫二维码下载作业帮
3亿+用户的选择
下载作业帮安装包
扫二维码下载作业帮
3亿+用户的选择
高手来帮我看一下这篇托福作文能得几分?Though a considerable number of people holding the idea that in order to acquire more knowledge from lessons ,students should spend more than 11 months in class each year ,in my opinion ,such long time studying will do harm to students’ physical and mental health .Now ,I will give several reasons as follows.Initially,one issue which makes me support this is that lengthen the students’ studying time does not mean a higher efficiency.Nowadays,students already have suffered from heavy work and the countless exams also bring them enormous pressure .If they must spent most time of a year in class ,physically ,it will make stumentally ,it would develop dislike for study.This phenomenon will bring bad effect for the students’ further development.Besides,vacation offer students an great opportunity to connect the classroom learning to the real world outside.If they spent 11 month studying in school ,students would have little time to do some part-time jobs or internships which could make them realize the society more comprehensive and objective.According to a recently research,the students who have completed par-time jobs or internships would find employment more easily and they are likely to be employed within their fields of study ,also they satisfied with their jobs .This research showed that the social activities are significant for students when they face a career .Last but not least ,in the spare time ,students could possess much time to develop their own hobbies ,such as traveling to another country ,attending to some dance performances and art galleries ,these culture activities are both instructive and entertaining .they help students obtain further developments .without these wonderful life experiences and fresh knowledge beyond textbooks,we couldn’t say that our education system is effective whose goal is to develop a holistic view of education focusing on the intellectual,emotional,creative and ethical person .So ,basing on these reasons above ,I consider that the most effective education should improve the efficiency by offering opportunities to students ,allowing them to contact with the society ,possessing private time to do what they really want to ,not just blindly lasting the studying time of school.
作业帮用户
扫二维码下载作业帮
3亿+用户的选择
层次还算清楚,只是模板的痕迹太重了,第三段和第二段有点比重失调.这篇作文应该能得到fair吧,如果想得到good的话,有一些累赘的东西还需要仔细推敲一下~
为您推荐：
其他类似问题
扫描下载二维码【雅思作文高手进】帮我看看这篇作文，估下能得几分_百度知道
【雅思作文高手进】帮我看看这篇作文，估下能得几分
我是第一次考雅思，这是我摸索着写出来的作文，没什么经验，也肯定会有很多出错的地方，就不要客气指出来，顺便帮我估下能得几分，谢了。
好的加悬赏
Today, environmental pollution has been increasingly seriously.
Discuss the reasons ...
第一段和第二段之间忘了空格 第三段最后一句是 do not make the soil more infertile
if people do not take care of this matter, (in the end 要放在後面), (去掉the) human beings will perish (in the end 或用 eventually).Discuss the reasons why environment is polluted and (give 改为 suggest) some solutions (to 改为 for) it。Today. The governments should (prevent the quantity of 改为 outlaw 或 punish those) factories which (does 改为 do) not have (percolation 是 precaution) measures, and elevate the public awareness of (environment 是 environmental) production. The farmer(s) should reduce the usage of chemical product(s),( do not mak改为 it would not make) the soil (去掉more) infertile .In my opinion, with the development of economy, the environment is (加 now) confronted (a 改为 by this) grave issue.First of all，只知原文分数或许不会太高，请原谅我过於坦率. It causes the death of a lot of aquatic organism and the pollution of the atmosphere: there are more and more vehicles in the city), at the same time, the exhaust that the vehicles (discharged 改为 discharging) are becoming more and more as well, it aggravate(加 s) the air pollution and make(加 s) the air turbid. In the farm(加 s), farmers use chemical pesticide and fertilizer so that they can get a high yield (in harvest seasons 改为 for their crops)，隐拿6分以上。很高兴能够帮到你, environmental pollution has been increasingly (seriously 改为 serious)既然你说不用客气指出你的文章错处.但本人却没有评分的能力，现在替你更正一下罢，那麼很对不起，我认为的确有很多错处. (It 改为 they) make the (fertile soil change infertile 改为 soil more fertile).In the past, the vehicles become more and more 这句要重新整理为, there are
nearly no pollution in the world, however。 更改後的版本虽然仍非完美, countries on this planet must join forces to combat environmental problems，但应可合格, the most significant reason that results in the environmental pollution is industry, Many factories (discharge 改为 are discharging) the effluent and poisonous air (加 and waste) into the river and sky. And (in the city，祝你考试成功!.All in all, the environment cannot be more adverse. On the contrary
采纳率：64%
来自团队：
1.头重脚轻，分段形式不PL2.比较少的关键词，first of all, in the second place, thirdly, in a word.3.no pollution problem , some spell problem such as &make&
用词还好，少数语法错误，第一印象为6分以上，7.5以下） Old buildings 记住，老外改作文很看重例子的，所以能加就加进去，哪怕例子很傻。还有，
这样写就能拿六分了么？
为您推荐：
其他类似问题
您可能关注的内容
雅思作文的相关知识
换一换
回答问题，赢新手礼包
个人、企业类
违法有害信息,请在下方选择后提交
色情、暴力
我们会通过消息、邮箱等方式尽快将举报结果通知您。扫二维码下载作业帮
拍照搜题，秒出答案，一键查看所有搜题记录
下载作业帮安装包
扫二维码下载作业帮
拍照搜题，秒出答案，一键查看所有搜题记录
帮我评价一下这篇初一作文,仔细点哦!优点和缺点,能得到90分以上吗?(>^ω^
作业帮用户
扫二维码下载作业帮
拍照搜题，秒出答案，一键查看所有搜题记录
1、名字起的不符,《一个难忘的故事》故事往往都是虚构的,可以改成《一张泛黄的照片》、《一个难忘的夜晚》2、不禁意间看到一张微黄的照片,不经意间或者是无意间3、到了星光灿烂的晚上（到了晚上,星光灿烂),广场上依旧是红灯绿酒(只听说过灯红酒绿,感觉也不是非常合适,是为了突出广场的繁华吗?）4、,看到爷爷开心地笑了,我也笑着拍起手来,爷爷又把我背了起来,爸爸也正好把这开心的一幕拍了下来.与前面的衔接有些勉强,人越来越多,我的视线被前面的人挡住了,爷爷随即把我放在了他的背上,正在拍表演照片的爸爸看到了这个镜头,来了张特写.5、如果你写这个作文只是一段难忘的事情的话,结尾尚可,如果是表达这张照片给你的启示或者几年爷爷的话,可以延伸优点：能够刻画细节,能渲染周围的景色、天气,感觉铺垫有些不够以上是我自己的想法,我都毕业很多年了,不能从初一学生的角度来思考,话多的地方别见怪
为您推荐：
其他类似问题
这是个故事吗？这应该叫难忘的一件事。
1、 文章由照片引起想象，有一个较好的开头，结尾又从照片引出对此件事的回忆，加深了这件事对自己的重要，起到首尾照应的作用。
2、就哭着对爷爷说；爷爷，我不去了，您休息会吧！这句话的标点是不是该用：就哭着对爷爷说；“爷爷，我不去了，您休息会吧！”
3、注意提炼句子：如：现在，每当看到这张照片时，我就会想起这个难忘的故事，虽然爷爷已经离我而去了，但这个故事会永远在我心里。在...
英爱没问题，只是“永远在我心里” 把“永远”后加个“刻”
自己多写与爷爷相处的有意义的事.
呃，怎么说呢，没见过初一的作文评价标准是怎么样，不好做出评分。只针对原文说一下吧。错别字：如，不禁意间：不经意间；关系式：如： 照片上那个头发已经花白的，但脸上浮着笑容的老头儿是我爷爷，不存在转折关系，不能用“但”。改成： 照片上那个头发花白，脸上浮着笑容的老头儿是我的爷爷；前后关联：如：我不停地翻着爷爷的相册，不禁意间看到一张微黄的照片，让我难忘至今。省去形容词等，...
扫描下载二维码