From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Portrait of Two Friends by Italian artist , c. 1522
Friendship is a relationship of mutual
between people. Friendship is a stronger form of
than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as , , , , and . Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including , , , and . A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier.
Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of bond. Such characteristi ; ; ; ; ; ; ; enjoyment of each other' ; and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.
While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests and have similar .
In the typical sequence of an individual's emotional development, friendships are formed after parental bonding and before . In the intervening period between the end of early childhood and the onset of full adulthood, friendships are often the most important relationships in the emotional life of the adolescent, and are often more intense than relationships later in life. The absence of friends can be emotionally damaging.
approach to
has led to the theory of , proposed by British anthropologist . He theorized that there is a limit of approximately 150 people with whom a human can maintain stable .
Childhood friends
In childhood, friendships are often based on the sharing of , and the enjoyment received from performing activities together. These friendships are maintained through affection, sharing, and creative playtime. While sharing is difficult for children at this age, they are more likely to share with someone they consider to be a friend
As children mature, they become less individualized and are more aware of others. They begin to see their friends' points of view, and enjoy playing in groups. They also experience peer rejection as they move through the middle childhood years. Establishing good friendships at a young age helps a child to be better acclimated in society later on in their life. In a 1975 study, Bigelow and La Gaipa found that expectations for a "best friend" become increasingly complex as a child gets older. The study investigated such criteria in a sample of 480 children between the ages of six and fourteen. Their findings highlighted three stages of development in friendship expectations. In the first stage, children emphasized shared activities and the importance of geographical closeness. In the second, they emphasized sharing, loyalty, and commitment. In the final stage, they increasingly desired similar attitudes, values, and interests. According to Berndt, children prize friendships that are high in pro-social behavior, intimacy, and oth they are troubled by friendships that are high in conflict, dominance, rivalry, and other negative features. High-quality friendships have often been assumed to have positive effects on many aspects of children's social development. Perceived benefits from such friendships include enhanced social success, but they apparently do not include an effect on children's general . Numerous studies with adults suggest that friendships and other supportive relationships do enhance self-esteem. Other potential benefits of friendship include the opportunity to learn about empathy and problem solving. Coaching from parents can be useful in helping children to make friends.
describes three key ingredients of children's friendship formation: (1) openness, (2) similarity, and (3) shared fun. Parents can also help children understand social guidelines they haven't learned on their own. Drawing from research by Robert Selman and others, Kennedy-Moore outlines developmental stages in children's friendship, reflecting an increasing capacity to understand others' perspectives: "I Want It My Way", "What's In It For Me?", "By the Rules", "Caring and Sharing", and "Friends Through Thick and Thin."
Two friends in
A study performed at the
examined over 9,000 American adolescents to determine how their engagement in problematic behavior (such as stealing, fighting, and truancy) was related to their friendships. Findings indicated that adolescents were less likely to engage in problem behavior when their friends did well in school, participated in school activities, avoided drinking, and had good . The opposite was found regarding adolescents who did engage in problematic behavior. Whether adolescents were influenced by their friends to engage in problem behavior depended on how much they were exposed to those friends, and whether they and their friendship groups "fit in" at school.
A study by researchers from
found that friendships formed during
last longer than friendships formed earlier.
Friendships in adulthood
Life events such as changes in marital status (marriage, divorce, widowhood), changes in parenthood (new parent, empty-nester), residential moves and career changes (new jobs, virtual employment, retirement) to name a few of the life events, can impact the quality or quantity of friendships. It is due to these changes, that many adults find that they have fewer friends than they had in younger years. And many adults feel that forming new friendships as an adult is difficult for all of these reasons too. After marriage, both women and men report having fewer friends of the opposite sex (Friendships, 2012).[]
Adults may find it particularly difficult to maintain meaningful friendships in the workplace. "The workplace can crackle with competition, so people learn to hide vulnerabilities and quirks from colleagues. Work friendships often take on
it is difficult to say where networking ends and real friendship begins." Most adults value the financial security of their jobs more than friendship with coworkers.
The majority of adults have an average of two close friends.
As family responsibilities and vocational pressures become less, friendships become more important. Among the elderly, friendships can provide links to
especially for people who cannot go out as often, interactions with friends allow for continued societal interaction. Additionally, older adults in declining health who remain in contact with friends show improved psychological well-being.
Although older adults prefer familiar and established relationships over new ones, friendship formation can continue in old age. With age, elders report that the friends to whom they feel closest are fewer in number and live in the same community. They tend to choose friends whose age, sex, race, ethnicity, and values are like their own. Compared with younger people, fewer older people report other-sex friendships. Older women, in particular, have more secondary friends—people who are not intimates, but with whom they spend time occasionally, such as in groups that meet for lunch or .
An important part of making friends is sharing ideas and personal feelings.
Three significant factors make the formation of a friendship possible:
Proximity – nearness or having a place or places to interact
Repeated, unplanned interactions
A setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.
Friendships end for many different reasons. Sometimes friends move away from each other and the relationship wanes due to the distance. Digital technology has however made geographic distance less of an obstacle to maintaining a friendship. Sometimes
causes an end to friendships, as people drop one or both of the divorcing people. For young people, friendships may end as a result of acceptance into new social groups.
Friendships may end by fading quietly away or may end suddenly. How and whether to talk about the end of a friendship is a matter of
that depends on the circumstances.
Children with
(ADHD) may not have difficulty forming friendships, though they may have a hard time keeping them, due to impulsive behavior and hyperactivity. Children with
(ADD) may not have as much trouble keeping and maintaining friendships, though inattentiveness may complicate the processes.
Parents of children with ADHD worry about their children's ability to form long-lasting friendships. According to Edelman, "Making and keeping friends requires 'hundreds' of skills – talking, listening, sharing, being empathetic, and so on. These skills do not come naturally to children with ADD". Difficulty listening to others also inhibits children with ADD or ADHD from forming good friendships. Children with these disorders can also drive away others by "blurting out unkind comments". Their disruptive behavior can become too distracting to classmates.
Children with
disorders usually have some difficulty forming friendships. Certain symptoms of autism can interfere with the formation of interpersonal relations, such as a preference for routine actions, resistance to change, obsession with particular interests or rituals, and a lack of typical . Children with autism spectrum disorders have been found to be more likely to be close friends of one person, rather than having groups of friends. Additionally, they are more likely to be close friends of other children with some sort of a disability. A sense of parental attachment aids in the quality of friendships in children with autis a sense of attachment with one's parents compensates for a lack of social skills that would usually inhibit friendships.
With time, moderation, and proper instruction, children with autism spectrum disorder are able to form friendships after realizing their own strengths and weaknesses. A study done by Frankel et al. showed that parental intervention and instruction plays an important role in such children developing friendships. Along with parental intervention, school professionals play an important role in teaching social skills and peer interaction. Paraprofessionals, specifically one-on-one aides and classroom aides, are often placed with children with autism spectrum disorders in order to facilitate friendships and guide the child in making and maintaining substantial friendships.
Although lessons and training may help peers of children with autism, bullying is still a major concern in social situations. According to Anahad O'Connor of , bullying is most likely to occur against autistic children who have the most potential to live independently, such as those with . Such children are more at risk because they have as many of the rituals and lack of social skills as children with full autism, but they are more likely to be
in school, since they are on the higher-functioning end of the autism spectrum. Children on the autism spectrum have more difficulty picking up on
of when they are maliciously being made fun of, so they do not always know when they are being bullied.
Children with
have a difficult time forming friendships. They experience a language delay causing them to have a hard time playing with children. Most children with Down Syndrome like to watch other students and will play alongside a friend but not with them mostly because they understand more than they can express. As they get into the preschool years, children with Down Syndrome will benefit from being in the classroom setting, surrounded by other children and not being so dependent on an aid. Children with this disability highly benefit from a variety of interactions with both adults and children. Getting them out and exploring different social situations the better for these children. While at school, getting the classroom to be an inclusive one can be difficult but after a while it will become more normal for the other students in the classroom. Keeping the child with Down Syndrome with students that seem to be a true friend to them is crucial for their social development.
Conventional wisdom suggests that good friendships enhance an individual's sense of
and overall well-being. Indeed, a number of studies have found that strong social supports improve a woman's prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, loneliness and a lack of social supports have been linked to an increased risk of , viral , and , as well as higher mortality rates overall. Two researchers have even termed friendship networks a "behavioral " that boosts both physical and mental health.
While there is an impressive body of research linking friendship and health, the precise reasons for the connection remain unclear. Most of the studies in this area are large prospective studies that follow people over a period of time, and while there may be a
between the two variables (friendship and health status), researchers still do not know if there is a cause and effect relationship, such as the notion that good friendships actually improve health. A number of theories have attempted to explain this link. These theories have included that good friends encourage their friends to lead mor that good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access
that good friends enhance their friends' coping skills in dealing with illness and o and that good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.
This section needs expansion with: additional sourcing and a variety of viewpoints.. You can help by . (April 2015)
In Diderot's Encyclopedie his definition offers an early modern conception of good friendship in the 18th century. He writes:
"Friendship is nothing other than the practice of maintaining a decent and pleasant commerce with someone. Is friendship no more than that? Friendship, it will be said, is not li it goes beyond those narrow boundaries. But those who make this observation do not consider that two people do not, without being friends, maintain a connection that has nothing incorrect about it and that gives them reciprocal pleasure. The commerce that we may have with men involves either the mind or the heart. The pure commerce of the mind is the commerce in which the heart takes an interest because of the pleasure it derives from it is friendship. I see no idea more accurate and more suitable for explaining all that friendship is in itself and likewise all its properties."
Friendship quality is important for a person's well-being. High quality friendships have good ways of resolving conflict, ultimately leading to stronger and healthier relationships. Good friendship has been called "life enhancing" (Helm, 2012).[] Engaging in activities with friends intensifies pleasure and happiness. The quality of friendships relates to happiness because friendship "provides a context where basic needs are satisfied" (Demir, 2010).[] Quality friendships lead an individual to feel more comfortable with his or her personal identity. Higher friendship quality directly contributes to self-esteem, self-confidence, and social development. Other studies have suggested that children who have friendships of a high quality may be protected against the development of certain disorders, such as anxiety and depression.
Friendship was a topic of moral philosophy greatly discussed by , , and . The topic was less discussed in the modern era, until the re-emergence of
approaches to ethics. In , openness in friendship was seen as an enlargement of the self. Aristotle wrote, "The excellent person is related to his friend in the same way as he is related to himself, since, a fr and therefore, just as his own being is choiceworthy for him, the friend's being is choice-worthy for him in the same or a similar way." In , the same word ("philos") was used for "friend" and "lover".
Indian () friends
In , male friendships tend to be reserved and respectful in nature. They may use
forms of their .
East Asian friends
The respect that friends have in
culture is understood to be formed from a young age. Different forms of
in social media and online chats are not considered an official friendship in . Both female and male friendships in East Asia start at a younger age and grow stronger through years of schooling and working together. Different people in East Asian culture have a close, tight knit, group of friends that they call their "best friends." In the United States, many people refer to multiple people as their "best friends", as compared to East Asian culture, where best friends are the 2–3 people closest to a particular person. Being someone's best friend in East Asian culture is considered an honor and privilege. In a Chinese context, there is a very strong orientation towards maintaining and enhancing interpersonal relationships. The relationships between friends in East and Central Asian culture holds a tight bond that is usually never broken until someone geographically moves to another part of the country or out of the country.
Germans typically have relatively few friends, although their friendships typically last a lifetime, as
is held in high regard. German friendships provide a substantial amount of commitment and support. Germans may appear aloof to people from other countries, as they tend to be cautious and keep their distance when it comes to developing deeper relationships with new people. They draw a strong distinction between their few friends and their many associates, co-workers, neighbors, and others. A relationship's transition from one of associates to one of friends can take months or years, if it ever happens.
In the Middle East and East Africa men hold hands as a sign of friendship.
In , friendship is also known as companionship or ashab. The concept is taken seriously, and numerous important attributes of a worthwhile friend have emerged in Islamic media, such as the notion of a righteous (or saalih) person, who can appropriately delineate between that which is
and that which is . Concordance with the perspectives and knowledge of others is consid forgiveness regarding mistakes and loyalty between friends is emphasized, and a "love for the sake of " is considered to be a relationship of the highest significance between two humans.
It is believed that in some parts of the
(or ), friendship is more demanding when compared friends are people who respect each other, regardless of shortcomings, and will make personal sacrifices in order to assist another friend, without considering the experience an imposition.
perceive friendship seriously, and deeply consider personal attributes such as
and the nature of a person's
before engaging in such a relationship.
South Asian male friends hugging
In , friendship is defined as close relationship based on mutual trust, attachment and common interests. The friendship typically assumes mutual help, understanding, frankness, emotional warmth, equality, unselfishness which is illustrated by an ample of traditional Russian proverbs. For most Russians the term friendship is different from the business relationship because the latter does not have emotional attachment or unselfishness.
has become the official
stance, predominant
of the . Principles of
such as , tolerance and
have been postulated as a . These collectivist principles have influenced the notion of friendship in Russia.
led people to create relationships with people in certain businesses in order to get the things they needed, such as a
employee to help obtain medical attention. This networking is recognised by
rather than the friendship because it lacks key friendship's elements.
is no longer taken as a
in Russia. Youth in modern Russia are putting an emphasis on economic prosperity and
instead of
principles. However it does not mean a sudden redefinition of the term friendship. It rather means that
become more distinct from the conventional friendship today than in the past.
As in Germany, people in former
had very few friends, but the friends they did have were extremely close. These trends have continued in modern Russia
Another trend within Russia is that many individuals are forced to constrain things in their lives, such as their friendships and their courses of study by using a cost-benefit approach. The young adults in Russia tend to use a more pragmatic approach in order to be successful in their studies as well as their work, which can affect friendships they may have.
is an American example of the exchange of small tokens of friendship.
In the United States, many types of relationships are deemed friendships. From the time children enter , many teachers and adults call their peers "friends" to children, and in most classrooms or social settings, children are instructed as to how to behave with their friends, and are told who their friends are (Stout 2010).[] This type of open approach to friendship has led many Americans,
in particular, to designate a "best friend" with whom they are especially close (Stout 2010).[] Many psychologists see this term as dangerous for A because, it allows for
and , which can lead to
(Stout 2010).[]
For Americans, friends tend to be people whom they encounter fairly frequently, and that are similar to themselves in , attitude, and activities. While many other cultures value deep trust and meaning in their friendships, Americans will use the word "friend" to describe most people who have such qualities (Stout 2010).[] There is also a difference in the US between men and women who have friendships with the same sex. According to research, American men have less deep and meaningful friendships with other men. In the abstract, many men and women in the United States have similar definitions of , but women are more likely to practice intimacy in friendships. Many studies have also found that Americans eventually los this can be an unusual occurrence in many other cultures.
According to a study documented in the June 2006 issue of the , Americans are thought to be suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at least 1985. The study states that one quarter of all Americans have no close confidants, and that the average total number of confidants per person has dropped from four to two.
also contributes to the decline in friendship among Americans. "In international comparisons, the divorce rate in the United States is higher than that of 34 other countries including the United Kingdom, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia". In divorce, many couples end up losing friends through the process, as certain friends "side with" one member of the relationship and lose the other.
The advance of technology has also been blamed for declining friendships in the United States. Ethan J. Leib, author of the book Friend vs. Friend and law professor at the , suggests that longer hours of work and a large amount of online communication take away from personal communication, making it harder to form friendships. Social media such as
have also led to a decrease in the amount of personal communication experienced in everyday life, and serves to make emotional attachments more difficult to achieve. (Berry, 2012)[] (Freeman, 2011).[]
Paul Hollander wrote in Soviet and American Society (1973): In American society the term "friendship" is applied to relationships which in the Soviet Union (and much of Europe) would be called acquaintanceships. Many students and observers of American society, native and foreign alike, have suggested that the friendship of Americans tend to be superficial, short-lived, and limited in intimacy. Friendships in America do not often become lifelong exchanges of solidarity and moral and emotional support.
wrote extensively on the topic of friendship. In
he writes about his three different kinds of friendship that every individual goes through.
Kind one: friendship based on utility
“…the useful is not something that lasts, but va so, when what made them be friends has been removed, the friendship is dissolved as well, in so far as it existed in relation to what brought it about.” Friendship of Utility is the kind of friendship where people use one another for a particular purpose.  For example, you may have a grandparent who is always friendly towards the . They may say hello or talk about the weather but when it is all said and done, there really is not a concrete relationship there.  With that being said, this kind of friendship is typically seen amongst the elderly and middle-aged. “This sort don’t really even live together with each other, for sometimes they are not
and so neither do they feel an additional need for that kind of company, unless the people concerned are of some use, since they are pleasant just to the extent that they have hopes of some good accruing to them.” This kind of friendship can be seen in those middle-aged people who are pursuing their own advantages in life.  For example, one could have a colleague that they have to work with on a day-to-day basis. They may not even like this particular colleague but because they are a benefit to their success, they take advantage of that connection and they use it for their own good. “And in fact these friendships are frie for the one loved is not loved by reference to the person he is but to the fact that in the one case he provides some good and in the other some pleasure.  Such friendships, then, are easily dissolved, if the part for if they are no longer pleasant or useful, they cease loving each other.”  Aristotle views this type of friendship as unstable and constantly subject to abrupt change.  
Kind two: friendship based on pleasure
“Friendship between young people seems to be because of pleasure, since the young live by emotion, and more than anything pursue what is pleasant for them and what is th but as their age changes, the things they find pleasant also become different.” Friendship based on pleasure is that of passion between lovers and/or that of the like minded.  In the minds of young people, they want someone who is pleasant to them.  Unfortunately, due to the constant changes in the minds of the , these types of friendships don’t tend to be long lasting.  “This is why they are quick to become friends and t for the friendship changes along with what is pleasant for them, and the shift in that sort of pleasure is quick.”  Now, this type of friendship can be confused with friendship based on utility but keep in mind that it is very different.  First, the age groups are different being that utility friendships are for middle-aged to
people.  Secondly, friendships of utility are typically based on something like a business deal where there is long term benefit.  Friendship of pleasure is geared towards the feeling of passion and pleasure in regards to the way the friendship makes the person feel.  “The young are also erotically inclined, for erotic is for the larger part a matter of , and hence they love and quickly stop loving, often changing in the course of the same day.”
Kind three: friendship based on good
"And to those who wish good things for their friends, for their friends' sake, are for they do so because of the friends themselves, and not incidentally. So friendship between these lasts so long as they are good, and excellence is something lasting." These types of friendships are long lasting because they involve all of the forms of friendship. Each person who has a friendship based on good has a mutual liking for the other person, they want good and pleasurable things from that person, and they know that that person will be there for them through the good and the bad. This kind of friendship is when a person wishes the best for the other person regardless of the other two forms. "For every kind of friendship is because of some good or because of pleasure, either without qualification or for the person loving, and in virtue of some sort of resemblance and to this kind of friendship belong all the attributes mentioned, in virtue of what the friends are in themselves, since in this respect they are similar, and in the others, and the good without qualification is also pleasant without qualification--and these most of all are objects of love." Though this kind of friendship is the "realest" of the three kinds, it is also hard to obtain. Both people in the friendship have to grow to really know one another. They have to go through the hard times and the good times with one another while in time, they have to develop a mutual
for one another. "...for as the proverb has it, people cannot have got to know each other before they have savoured all that salt together, nor indeed can they have accepted each other or be friends before each party is seen to be lovable, and is trusted, by the other."
Agentic friendship
In an agentic friendship, both parties look to each other for help in achieving practical goals in their personal and professional lives. Agentic friends may help with completing projects, studying for an exam, or with moving a friend from dwelling to dwelling. They value sharing time together, but only when they have time available to help each other. These relationships typically do not include the sharing of emotions or personal information.
Best friend (or close friend)
Best friends share extremely strong interpersonal ties with each other.
This term can either refer to people related by birth or to friends who swear loyalty by mixing their blood together. The latter usage has been practiced throughout history, but is rarely continued today due to the dangers of [].
This antiquated American term was used during the 19th and 20th centuries to denote two women who lived together in the same household independent of male support. These relationships were not necessarily sexual. The term was used to quell fears of
and , a bromance is a close, non-sexual relationship between two or more men.
and , a womance is a close, non-sexual relationship between two or more women.
Sometimes used as a synonym for friend generally, "buddy" can specifically denote a friend or partner with whom one engages in a particular activity, such as a "study buddy."
or "friends with benefits"
Also referred to as a "hook-up," this term denotes a sexual or near-sexual relationship between two people who do not expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship.
Communal friendship
As defined by Steven McCornack, this is a friendship in which friends gather often to provide encouragement and emotional support in times of great need. This type of friendship tends to last only when the involved parties fulfill the expectations of support.
This term denotes an ally, friend, or colleague, especially in a
or political context. Comradeship may arise in time of war, or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal, in circumstances where ordinary friendships might not have formed. In English, the term is associated with the Soviet Union, in which the Russian equivalent term,
(: това?рищ), was used as a common form of address.
Family friend
This term can denote the friend of a family member or the family member of a friend.
A portmanteau of the words "friend" and "enemy," the term "frenemy" refers to either an enemy disguised as a friend (a proverbial ) or a person who is both a friend and a . This may take the form of a . The term was reportedly coined by a sister of author and journalist
in 1977 and popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of . One study by psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable love–hate relationships can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around people for whom one has mixed feelings than it is around people whom one clearly dislikes.
is a non-physical friend, usually of a child. These friends may be human or animal, such as the human-sized rabbit in the 1950
film . Creation of an imaginary friend may be seen as bad behavior or even , but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior.
An internet friendship is a form of friendship or romance which takes place exclusively over the . This may evolve into a real-life friendship. Internet friendships are in similar context to pen pals. People in these friendships may not use t parties in an internet relationship may engage in .
Primarily used in the , , , and , "mate" is a same-sex friend, especially among males. In the UK, as well as Australia, the term also has been taken up by women.
Cross-sex friendships, which are nonsexual, are not always socially accepted. Although complications can arise in such relationships, cross-sex friendships can be strong and emotionally rewarding.
Pen pals are people who have a relationship primarily through
correspondence. They may or may not have met each other in person. This type of correspondence was encouraged in many elemen[] it was thought that an outside source of information or a different person's experience would help the child become less insular. In modern times, internet relationships have largely replaced pen pals, though the practice does continue.
A man with a squirrel
Friendship is also found among animals of higher intelligence, such as higher
and some . Cross-species friendships are common between humans and . Cross-species friendships may also occur between two non-human animals, such as
A study conducted by Krista McLennan, a doctoral student at , investigated friendship in . McLennan measured the heart rates of cattle on three separate occasions to determine their stress levels. In the first trial, the cows were isolated from the rest of their herd. The second trial penned the animal with another cow that they were familiar with. Finally, the third trial put two random cows together. Her research showed that the cows were much more stressed when alone or with an unfamiliar cow than they were with one of their friends. This supports the idea that cows are social animals, capable of forming close bonds with each other. McLennan suggests that if
group friends together, it could benefit the cows by reducing their stress, improving their overall health and even producing a greater
- The development of friendships between women
- The architecture of friendship
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