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【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思大作文详解9：私立教育与公立教育
日16:11 来源：小站教育作者：Phoebe
阅读（645）
摘要：Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气，尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天小站的Phoebe老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析，为同意与否题型，教育类话题，详情请见文章。
Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前考官，由于创办学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。小站的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文！
今天要讲一篇Family Topic大作文。题目如下：
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to
pay taxes that support the state education system.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
对于这种问你同意与否的作文，Simon做出如下指示：
If the question asks whether you agree or disagree, you need to make your
opinion very clear. You can either have a strong opinion or a balanced
今天我们先来说一下如何写一篇Strong Opinion的作文。Simon说，When you have a strong opinion, you
don't need to mention the opposite view. 是的，你没有看错，Simon说你若表达Strong
Opinion，则无需提反方观点！现在开始写作文，按照前几期讲过的写作的顺序，第一步，Plan Structure:
1. Introduction: 1 sentence to introduce the topic, 1 sentence to make your
opinion clear (e.g. I completely disagree...)
2. Main paragraph: support your opinion with a reason
3. Main paragraph: support your opinion with another reason
4. Conclusion: repeat/summarise your opinion
第二步: brainstorm then organise
大家一起来头脑风暴the ideas for a “completely disagree” answer. 以下是Simon想到的Ideas:
? difficult to calculate the tax reduction
? more government staff would be required for this process
? we all pay for public services that we may not need e.g. police
? poorer people would pay more tax than wealthy people
? state schools benefit the whole of society
? high quality state education leads to equal opportunities for all
? a well-educated workforce is the key to a prosperous nation
? companies need educated staff
? we should all be happy to contribute to public services
头脑风暴之后，我们要将它们组织归纳成两个段落，从上面这些Ideas来看，似乎可以把它们分成两大主题：
1. Reasons why we think the idea would not work, or would be unfair.
2. Reasons why everyone should pay taxes that support state education.
在给出完整范文之前，再跟大家讲解一下Simon是如何建议大家规划整个大作文的写作时间的：
You have 40 minutes for writing task 2, and I suggest that you:
? Spend the first 10 minutes planning your essay structure and brainstorming
ideas for the two main body paragraphs.
? Spend 5 minutes writing your 2-sentence introduction.
? Spend 20 minutes on the main body (10 minutes for each paragraph).
? Spend the last 5 minutes writing your conclusion and checking
everything.
希望同学们在写今天的文章的时候都按照Simon的建议，平时练习的时候也养成定时写作文的好习惯，考场上也一定能发挥地游刃有余。
完整范文：
Some people believe that parents of children who attend private schools
should not need to contribute to state schools through taxes. Personally, I
completely disagree with this view.
For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to reduce taxes for families who
pay for private education. Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the
correct amount of tax reduction for these families, and staff would be required
to manage this complex process. Secondly, we all pay a certain amount of tax for
public services that we may not use. For example, most people are fortunate
enough not to have to call the police or fire brigade at any time in their
lives, but they would not expect a tax reduction for this. Finally, if wealthy
families were given a tax discount for sending their children to private
schools, we might have a situation where poorer people pay higher taxes than the
In my opinion, we should all be happy to pay our share of the money that
supports public schools. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a
high quality education system with equal opportunities for all young people.
This will result in a well-educated workforce, and in turn a more productive and
prosperous nation. Parents of children in private schools may also see the
advantages of this in their own lives. For example, a company owner will need
well qualified and competent staff, and a well-funded education system can
provide such employees.
In conclusion, I do not believe that any financial concessions should be made
for people who choose private education.
(269 words, band 9)
词汇总结：
tax reduction: 削减税收
fire brigade: 消防局
well-educated: 受良好教育的
concession: 妥协
well-funded: 资金充裕的
今天先到这儿，下期见！想知道更多关于写作考试技巧请点！
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的用户喜欢【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思小作文详解2：搞定流程图
来源：小站
Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前考官，由于创办学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文!
 
今天要帮大家分析一篇流程图。在写作之前，先请大家记住流程图具有的五个特点：一，介绍过程要使用一般现在时； 
二，大量使用定语从句，将有关联的两句话连接； 
三，大量使用被动语态； 
四，使用一些表示顺序的连接词； 
五，要适当地添加个别图中没有交代但能从图片中直接读出来的的一些内容，否则可能达不到字数要求。但是一定要把握尺度，千万不要加上自己的主观观点，否则会扣分。 
然后我们来看一下这道题目： 

这道题目是让考生描述玻璃容器的生产和回收过程，属于流程图三种题型之“production process”，除此之外还有两种典型的流程图，分别为“Natural process diagram”和“ Map showing a process”，我们以后会讲到。Simon说，这三种类型的流程图所用到的技巧基本相似，但最好还是要分别练习。Simon紧接着推荐了一个网站http://www.eurima.org/about-mineral-wool/production-process，里面有很多真正的对于生产流程的描述，比如大家看一下他摘抄出来的这段，看起来非常像真雅思作文!For glass wool, the raw materials are sand, limestone and soda ash, as well as recycled off-cuts from the production process. The raw materials are melted in a furnace at very high temperatures, typically between 1,300?C to 1,500?C. The smoke created during this process is filtered and flue gases are cleaned to minimise any environmental impact. The droplets of melt exiting the furnace are spun into fibres. Small quantities of binding agents are added to the fibres. The mineral wool is then hardened in a curing oven at around 200?C. The mineral wool is cut to the required size and shape.果然，整个段落都使用一般现在时进行描述，里面有大量的被动语态。作为练习，Simon建议大家试着加上表示顺序的连接词，并且改写出定语从句，将其变成非常美观的雅思作文。Phoebe老师来帮大家贴出范文啦： 
The diagrams illustrate the processes of how to produce and recyle glass 
containers. It is clear from the diagrams that there are three stages in the 
process of making glass containers. Meanwhile, four steps are required to 
recycle glass.
At the first stage of producing glass containers, sand is mixed with soda 
ash, limestone and other chemicals. This mixture is then brought and is melt in 
glass furnace where it is heated in high temperature which is approximately 1500?C . The process continues with shaping the molten glass blowing, and then 
glass containers are produced at the final stage.
The first step of recycling glass is collecting the used glass. This collection is then sorted by colour before washing to remove impurities. The 
next steps of the cycling process, the sorted materials are crushed and melted. 
At the final step, these materials come to the moulding stage where they become 
final new products.
（159words, band 9)最后Phoebe老师帮大家总结一下词汇： 
Illustrate, approximately这种单词老生常谈了，大家一定要背下来。First, then, final是最常见的描述顺序的连接词，一定要用。Be sorted by colour这个词组在雅思真题的流程图里被用到的概率极高，听力中也很常见，大家一定要记住这种表达。
Moulding，名词mould，模具，模子，极高频，须掌握。Stage和Step，表达步骤的两种表达，能看出作者追求词汇多元化，避免重复使用。今天就先到这儿，希望今天Phoebe老师分析的这篇雅思流程图能给大家很多帮助，下期见！需要更多写作技巧的点击！ 
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在线咨询，奖学金返现，名师点评，等你来互动雅思|Simon考官华丽雅思大作文详解：独居是好是坏
15:52:36 发表于&&[&
Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前雅思考官，由于创办雅思考试学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气，尤其是他亲笔写下的那些满分作文。今天老师又帮大家带来一篇Simon的大作文的详细解析，今天的话题是如今独居的人越来越多，你怎么看呢？今天为大家讲解一篇雅思写作大作文的考官范文题目如下：In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?题目是说，在许多国家，和过去相比，现在越来越多的人选择独自居住，你认为这件事是积极的还是消极的。在写作之前，先看一下考官的建议：· This type of question is asking for your opinion, so dont write about the views of other people.· Three different answers are possible: (1) You think it is a positive development. (2) You think it is a negative development. (3) You believe that there are some positives and some negatives.· As usual, make your opinion clear in the introduction, support it with good ideas in the main body, and repeat / summarise it in the conclusion.一，这种类型的题目是在询问你的意见，所以别写其他人的观点。二，这类题型有有三种可行的回答，(1)你认为是积极的发展，(2)你认为是消极的发展，(3)你认为既有积极的一面又有消极的一面。三，你要一如既往地在首段中明确你的观点，在主体段中举出支持观点的论据，然后在结尾段中重申一遍。接下来，大家先按照这样一个写作框架构思一下本篇作文的内容，自己尝试写一篇，然后再来和考官的满分范文做比对，总结一下自己写作的短板，以后更有方向地去备考雅思写作。考官范文：In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone, particularly in large cities in the developed world. In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons. On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members. A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are
an increase in the number of such individuals can certainly be seen as a positive development. From an economic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result in greater demand for housing. This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle. Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry. They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flatmates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills
in this sense, perhaps the trend towards living alone is a negative one. Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents. While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy.(band 9)&以上内容来自小站教育，如有任何问题，请联系我们删除。
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网络文化经营许可证 京网文[7号 &&&&&&&&【9分作文盛宴】考官华丽雅思大作文详解2：同意与否题型
来源：小站
Simon是英国曼彻斯特的前考官，由于创办学习网站而在全世界的考生中越来越有名气。其网站上提供大量关于复习雅思的技巧以及颠覆性的建议，甚至还有不少Simon本人亲笔写的满分作文。这些满分作文由于出自英国考官之手，非常地道，言简意赅，和中国考生惯用的千篇一律的模板作文相比，着实让人眼前一亮。的Phoebe老师深感有义务要让孩子们接触到真正可以提分的好作文，所以以后会频繁地帮大家整理并总结这些满分作文的精华，相信大家都可以扔掉模板，写出高分作文! 
 
今天我们来分析一篇在观点上partly agree的大作文。以一篇大家经常会遇到的有关Traditional Views的作文为例，题目如下：
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?看到这种问agree还是disagree的题目，大家先不要急于写作，Simon建议大家先来回答以下三个问题并做些笔记：1. What arguments and examples could you use to agree?2. What arguments and examples could be used to disagree?3. Which answer would you find easier: agree, disagree or partly agree?Plan Your Idea 
当同意和不同意都有一样多的论据可以陈述时，那我们在第一段Introduction段落中，就要表明自己对该问题partly agree。然后就要进行Plan Your Idea，即把每段要写的内容列成大概题纲。可能有同学会觉得这样会浪费时间，但Simon认为，如果你不plan your idea的话，很可能写到一半就不知道该写什么好，甚至会写跑题。接下来看一下对于这篇文章Simon是如何plan his idea的：4-paragraph plan:1. Introduce the topic of 'traditional ideas and modern life', then partly agree: some ideas are outdated, but others are still helpful2. Paragraph about ideas which are not so helpful nowadays:Work - having a career for life is no longer normalRelationships - 'rules' about who and when to marry are changingGender roles - traditional fixed roles of men and women have changed3. Paragraph about traditional ideas which we shouldn't forget:Work - work hard, do your best, take pride in your workBehaviour - politeness, good manners, respect for othersCommunity - help others, be a good neighbour, look after local area4. Conclusion: repeat / summarise the answerStructure有多重要？ 
首先大家可能已经发现，Simon写的大作文基本都是四个段落，老师在整理Simon给学生做回复时发现这样的问答：
"Hi Simon. I used your 4-paragraph structure with short introduction and conclusion, but I only got band 6.5. I need a band 7, so should I try a different structure?"Simon：Can you see what is wrong with this question? The student is assuming that essay structure is the secret to a high score. But remember: even a great essay structure is nothing without good content (ideas, vocabulary, correct grammar). If you're stuck on band 6 or 6.5, you probably need to improve the content, not the structure.老师认为Simon说得非常对，作文的结构只是骨骼，其内容才是肉肉，观点、词汇、正确的语法方能让作文美观饱满。Introduction段落的写法 
然后，我们看一下对于partly agree的作文Simon是如何写Introduction段落的：It is true that many older people believe in traditional values that often seem incompatible with the needs of younger people. While I agree that some traditional ideas are outdated, I believe that others are still useful and should not be forgotten.Simon用了It is true that…. While I agree…, I believe 
that…句型来分别陈述两边观点，这个句型非常灵活好用，建议大家立刻记在小本本上。
主体段落的写法 
再来看Simon是如何写一个主体段落的：In my opinion, some traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the modern world. For example, older generations attached great importance to working hard, doing one’s best, and taking pride in one’s work, and these behaviours can surely benefit young people as they enter today’s competitive job market. Other characteristics that are perhaps seen as traditional are politeness and good manners. In our globalised world, young adults can expect to come into contact with people from a huge variety of backgrounds, and it is more important than ever to treat others with respect. Finally, I believe that young people would lead happier lives if they had a more ‘old-fashioned’ sense of community and neighbourliness.主体段落依然是五句话(topic sentence and 3 points),将上面ideas里面的核心词汇有逻辑地串连起来。

接下来Pheobe老师帮大家贴出完整的范文： 
It is true that many older people believe in traditional values that often seem incompatible with the needs of younger people. While I agree that some 
traditional ideas are outdated, I believe that others are still useful and 
should not be forgotten.
On the one hand, many of the ideas that elderly people have about life are becoming less relevant for younger people. In the past, for example, people were 
advised to learn a profession and find a secure job for life, but today’s 
workers expect much more variety and diversity from their careers. At the same 
time, the ‘rules’ around relationships are being eroded as young adults make 
their own choices about who and when to marry. But perhaps the greatest disparity between the generations can be seen in their attitudes towards gender 
roles. The traditional roles of men and women, as breadwinners and housewives, 
are no longer accepted as necessary or appropriate by most younger people.
On the other hand, some traditional views and values are certainly applicable to the modern world. For example, older generations attach great importance to working hard, doing one’s best, and taking pride in one’s work, and these behaviours can surely benefit young people as they enter today’s competitive job market. Other characteristics that are perhaps seen as traditional are politeness and good manners. In our globalised world, young adults can expect to 
come into contact with people from a huge variety of backgrounds, and it is more 
important than ever to treat others with respect. Finally, I believe that young 
people would lead happier lives if they had a more ‘old-fashioned’ sense of community and neighbourliness.
In conclusion, although the views of older people may sometimes seem unhelpful in today’s world, we should not dismiss all traditional ideas as irrelevant.
(299 words, band 9)Last but not the least,来帮大家总结分析范文中的词汇，供大家参考背诵。 
incompatible:中文意为不和谐，容易让学生以为这个词只能用来形容社会，而英文释意two actions, ideas, etc. that areincompatible are not acceptable or possible 
together because of basic differences,所以建议大家背单词时多看英文释意，有助于准确运用词汇。 
relevant:一对反义词，即可表示和...紧密相关，也可以表示有重要价值或意义。反义irrelevant 
profession:我们背过很多表示专业的单词，如major,subject,当表达学习一个专业本领去找工作时用profession 
disparity:差异，不同，比difference高级多了
globalised world:常用基本表达，需背熟
sense of:表达抽象意义的感觉，如sense of direction方向感，sense of isfaction满足感
dismiss:大家最熟悉的意思是“解雇”，记住这个短语dismiss...as,英文释意to decide that sb/sth is not important and not worth thinking or talking 
about 
今天就到这里，大家下期见！需要更多写作技巧的点击！ 
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