use a chart to record dialogue, thoughts, actions, and other details that help reveal the key to traits of Tom&s personality | The Devil and Tom Walker Questions | Q & A | GradeSaver
i need and answer please help
ashlyn w #399500
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Hi, sorry this looks like a chart-type project. We only do short answer questions on this forum.
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索引帖文章标题&&//文章链接&&&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 --什么是个人陈述？&&Re:[zz]个人陈述--- 出国申请材料之：个人陈述&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 名教授教你写PS&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 老美对PS的衡量标准&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 鬼子希望的PS&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 个人经验&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 个人陈述中的五类典型问题&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 PS常用词汇英汉对照&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 caleb点评自己的PS&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 MSU的PS官方格式要求&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 Personal Statement 与 Study Plan&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 读书计划概论&&Re:[zz]个人陈述 Bob教你怎样写读书计划&&
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什么是个人陈述 太傻留学文书精华区，imsailin整理 个人陈述是在申请过程中按照学校要求来写一篇有关申请人背景，学术成就和未来研究和职业目标的文章。一篇成功的个人陈述应不但应该语言流畅，逻辑严谨，层次分明，更要充分显示申请人的才华并抓住审阅人的注意力。几乎所有学校都要求提交个人陈述。 个人陈述也有不同的名称，如Personal　Statement，Statement　of　Purpose，Statement of Intent, Statement of Objectives, Academic　Statement，Study　Plan，Academic　Objectives等。个人陈述应当包含以下内容： （一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景；　 （二）欲研究的方向；　 （三）未来的职业目标。如果个人陈述写作得当，可以很大程度地提高申请者获得录取和奖学金的机会。这对申请者来说是一个绝好的机会。可惜的是很多申请者对TOEFL、GRE可谓呕心沥血，而对个人陈述往往一蹴而就，敷衍了事，内容贫乏、语法错误连篇。而西方的大学并不单是通过传统的考试来考评其申请者的资格，这并不是说他们的录取标准不严格。外国教授在决定你是否正是他们想要的人时，首先希望听一听你对于你自己作何评价。当你通过申请文书来介绍你自己时，你会发现所面临的机遇和挑战同样之大。 要写出成功的申请文书仅仅有那些适用于任何类型写作的基本写作技巧（清晰、简洁）是远远不够的。一篇好的申请文书要求申请人能够用一种与其他申请人完全不同方式，巧妙地展现自己的独特个性和经验。这是一件要求比较高，通常非常繁累的工作。这不仅仅对中国人如此，以英语为母语的人在此类写作时也会感到十分的头疼，但是我们中国人还需克服语言的障碍。 如何写个人陈述 个人陈述的内容应包含下列三项资料： （一）申请者的学术或专业兴趣及背景； （二）欲研究的方向； （三）未来的职业目标； 写作时，依以上三点将文章分为三个主要部分。不要像列清单，也不要重覆申请表格已有的资料。 注意事项： （一）详读学校的写作说明并了解问题的重点，不赘言，不遗漏，且在要求的字数内完成。例如学校要求五百字内完成(In 500 words or less discuss ...)，则全文最好不要超过五百字。如果学校要求以问答方式来叙述 (Responses to essay questions, Please limit your response to on page.)，即依其要求回答不长过一页。 （二）写作时应清楚明确。例如： 1. "I am interested in English literature" 这句话表达不够清楚，而I was concentrated on Milton and
Shakespeare in college" 就明白的说出了申请人的志趣及研究范围。 2．"I received extensive training in physics" 这句话不够详细，"My training was in the area of particle physics"就具体多了。 3. "I was very active as a student representative" 最好说明曾经做什么:组织活动，主办演讲，沟通学生与校方意见等。 4．"I am attracted to your department by its brilliant faculty."应说明对於教授的认知是从何而来，如在何处读到某教授的文章而愿受教于他，或某位教授正在从事一项重要研究，与自己欲攻读的研究领域相同等。表达对所申请之系的课程、教师和特性有些了解，依学校之不同而提及某位任教於该校的教授、新课程或该校的某个学位有兴趣。 （三）不要用语意模糊的句子，如 "Your esteemed school"应代以学校的名字。"I will return to serve my country"应明确的说出所要从事的到底是什麽工作等。 （四）避免用深奥的字汇，尽量以简单容易的字来表达。 （五）不要离题，谈论一些不相干的事。 （六）态度诚恳认真，不卑不亢。不用为自己的弱点道歉，比如托福成绩不高等；也不要表现得过份自信。重要的是给学校一个专业，认真的印象。 （七）不要抄袭，改写书上的样本文章。应详读学校的介绍，了解其要求，再对自己的学业背景、计划加以考虑，写出自己的风格。 （八）检查英文的时态、性别及单多数等方面的错误。 Ten Do's for Personal Statement 1.Unite your essay and give it direction with a theme or thesis. The thesis is the main point you want to communicate. 2.Before you begin writing, choose what you want to discuss and the order in which you want to discuss it. 3.Use concrete examples from your life experience to support your thesis and distinguish yourself from other applicants. 4.Write about what interests you, excites you. That's what admissions staff wants to read. 5.Start your essay with an attention-grabbing lead -- an anecdote, quote, question, or engaging description of scene. 6.End your essay with a conclusion that refers back to lead and restates your thesis.7.Revise your essay at least three times. 8.In addition to your editing, ask someone else to critique your personal statement for you. 9.Proofread your personal statement by reading it out loud or reading it into a tape recorder and playing back the tape. 10.Write clearly, succinctly. Ten Don'ts for Personal Statement 1.Don't include information that doesn't support your thesis. 2.Don't start your essay with "I was born in.." or "My parents came from..." 3.Don't
write an autobiography, itinerary, or resume
in prose. 4.Don't
try to be a clown (but gentle humor is ok). 5.Don't
be afraid to start over if the essay just isn't working or doesn't answer the essay question. 6.Don't
try to impress your reader with your vocabulary. 7.Don't
rely exclusively on your computer to check your spelling. 8.Don't
provide a collection of generic statements and platitudes. 9.Don't
give mealy-mouthed, weak excuses for your GPA or test scores. 10.Don't
make things up
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出国申请材料之：个人陈述 太傻留学频道 上篇：申请之前总听前辈们提起PS，都说它是申请过程中可算得上是最重要的一个内容。当时我只知道它是Personal Statement的简称，中文译为“个人陈述”，却不知道它具体是个什么东西，想到自己也要写这么一篇PS，感觉一片迷茫。但是既然这个东西这么重要，也一定怠慢不得。可以说我早在了解它之前就已经开始为它“操心”了。其实到现在申请完毕之后，我也不清楚自己的PS起了多大作用，也不清楚自己的PS写得是否成功，仅将自己的一点经历和体会写进来，希望至少能使读的人对PS有一些更多的了解。一、PS是个啥东东？要写它，当然首先要知道它究竟是什么了。PS，是英语personal statement的简称，也就是个人陈述。说得通俗一点，它就是我们向外国的学校“推销”自己的推销书。它是申请材料中最重要的内容之一。之所以重要，是因为国外的教授们要通过PS来了解其他申请材料中没有表现出来的方面，主要包括学术方面的，也包括申请者的性格特点等等；其实教授们要看成百上千的申请材料，每一份材料上，他的目光之多只停留几秒钟，所以PS一定要有亮点“钩住”他的目光，让他对你的材料产生兴趣——这就是PS的重要之处，也是写它的困难之所在。PS家族还有其他的成员，在申请中，除了personal statement，还会看到“statement of purpose”，甚至还有的学校(比如Yale)称之为“Personal statement of purpose”。没有必要被这些各式各样的名词虎住，其实它们的差别并不大。如果非要说出个差别，那就是“personal statement”可以多说一些自己的性格，比如自己的爱好，成长等等，而“statement of purpose”更偏重于学术；至于“personal statement of purpose”，似乎就更灵活一些了。但不管怎么样，PS中对专业的讨论，或者自己在学术上的成长过程是必不可少的。二、PS怎么写？萝卜白菜，各有所爱。老外也和我们一样，不同的人喜欢不同的写作风格。所以，每个人对同一篇PS也就会有不同的评价。所以很难说那一篇PS写的是绝对成功的。不过在准备PS的过程中，我也对它的一些基本原则有了一些了解和体会。PS是推销自己的材料，是在向别人展示自己的优势，而自己在这方面应该是比别人更加了解自己的，因此，PS最好是自己写。有一些替写PS的公司，我并没有看过他们的作品，但是自己的成长和感受只有自己最清楚，所以自己写出来的也就更真实。而且这是锻炼英语写作的好机会——我们几个人在写完PS之后，再写其他类似的文章都感到比以前容易得多。花一些时间写一份自己满意的PS是十分值得的。关于PS的内容，有很多形式，比如成长型，学术研究型等等，根据自己的风格各有不同。但是有几点需要注意的：首先，不要谦虚，要肯定自己的优点，甚至将其适当夸大，但是不宜将自己写得太高尚太完美，这样就会降低可信度；第二，叙述不要过于“浪漫”以至于缺乏实质的内容。我看到过有人写出的美国教授对一些PS的评价，比如一个申请生物方向的学生在叙述自己对生物产生兴趣的过程时，举的例子是：他很小的时候，他妈妈给他买了几只蝌蚪，过了几天他发现蝌蚪居然变成了青蛙，于是他对此产生了强烈的好奇心…………先不说外国人说这个故事“浪漫”是不是符合中国人的思维方式，这种例子即使中国人自己看了恐怕也只有一个“俗”字来形容了。第三，空话少说。我们当然可以形容自己有多么优秀，多么能干，多么聪明，但是教授们看不到我们，他如何相信我们真的那样好？所以要由令人信服的实例作为支撑。我在BBS上看到过一篇文章，里面写的一位教授说的话令我启发很大，那就是“Don’t tell me, show me!(别对我说，展示给我看！)”。因此PS里面一定要有十分具体的内容。第四，语言要地道，PS也是展示自己英语水平的机会。第五，对于一些学分不是很高的人，在PS中不宜为自己的绩点(GPA)作出过多的辩护。我觉得，PS应该立足在展示自己的优点上，而不是掩饰缺点。第五，PS的内容要作为其他申请材料如推荐信，成绩单和论文样本的补充，要给人更多的新信息而不是简单的内容重复。当然，假如申请人的一个有点特别突出，比如绩点(GPA)特别高，或是有一项突出的研究成果等，可以适当地加以强调以引起注意。三、我的PS奋斗过程PS是申请中最重要的一个内容，也可以说是最令人头疼的一个内容，因此我在它身上花费了比其他材料更多的时间，可以说是几经周折，才有了最后一版的新鲜出炉。1、梦中构思8月，暑假——怠惰的季节。向各学校发邮件索要材料后，便开始在心里安排起申请的准备工作了。当时还并不是特别清楚每一步要做什么，不过有一点是肯定的，那就是要准备一篇像样的PS。所以，这个“任务”就一直在我心里，时常拿出来“非正式”地构思一下。也许是自己比较懒惰，因此很多事情都是在没有足够的压力时很难逼迫自己行动起来——对于困难或者麻烦的事情尤其如此。虽然准备PS的念头一直都有，但是在每次想起它却又没有头绪的时候，心里有某一块地方就会对自己说：“哎呀，时间还早呢，明天再想不迟。”虽然每次这样放弃的时候，都会有一点点“负罪感”，但是每次都会向自己妥协。于是总是这样像寒号鸟一样一拖再拖，一转眼就拖到了开学的日子。到了学校一看，原来其他人也还没有着手开始。也许他们也和我一样吧。不过眼看着日子一天天过去，各学校寄来的申请材料摞得越来越高，再拖下去也觉得心里不安了。于是感到有点急。于是心急地打开电脑，对着屏幕，开始构思。结果只领悟到一件事情，那就是对着电脑会麻痹人的思维：那几天，总会背着电脑去图书馆，坐下来，打开电源，点开WORD——一切准备工作就绪，接下来却只有对着屏幕发呆。头脑里也不是一片空白，只是不知道如何下笔——不知道是没想好写什么还是想写得太多了毫无头绪。在图书馆一坐就能坐上一天，但是写出的却总是可怜的几句连自己也不想再多看一眼的鸟语。于是我决定停笔，调整一下。有人提议可以多看看别的人写的PS样本，给自己增加一些灵感。我的确在构思之前粗略看过一两篇网上的PS样本，不过都是理科专业的人写的，和我申请的专业也毫不相关，目的只是大致了解一下PS应该包括的内容。我并没有像准备TOEFL作文一样看上无数篇成品来增加自己的灵感，因为对于PS这个表达自己想法的文章，看多了其他人的东西会在潜意识中影响甚至限制自己的思维。我想写出我自己的东西，而不是照猫画虎的参考其他人的内容，甚至是结构安排。我采取的方法是“梦中构思”。白天是喧闹的，很难静下心来想事情。我喜欢夜的宁静，那时候感觉很安详，很安全，心也就静下来了，似乎那个时候的“自己”才是面对自己的真正的“自己”。这个时候的思想也就更能受自己的支配。因此，我选择在夜里构思这个重要的文章。首先就是理清自己的思路。在半梦半醒之间，我回忆着我的生活和学习经历：从小学，中学，高中，高考，到大学接触经济学，到我决定申请出国，至今。每一件触动过我的事情，每一句给我留下深刻印象的话，和每一件我所做过的事情，都在头脑里闪过。就这样，经过多日的“梦中构思”，我心里终于对我的PS有了一个大概的规划。我打算采用的是“成长型”的写法。至于内容，虽然还没有完全筛选完，但大体上也心里有数了。于是我打算再一次动笔——相信这一次就不再是对着电脑屏幕发呆了。下篇：PS是申请中最重要的一个内容，也可以说是最令人头疼的一个内容，因此我在它身上花费了比其他材料更多的时间，可以说是几经周折，才有了最后一版的新鲜出炉。2.挥笔激情完成初稿大概的内容构思好了，就要开始动笔了。一般PS比较合适的篇幅是在两页A4纸以内，一般以也多一点比较合适，有些学校还要求更短。所以要在如此短的文章中充分地展示出自己的优势。这实在不是一件容易的事情。酝酿已久的东西写出来就会像泉水喷涌一样。我选择的是“成长型”的PS，所以涉及到我大学以前经历，并且要重点突出我大学以来的成长过程，包括理论上的和实践上的。其中有一些支持我的“论点”——我想并且有能力继续我的学习——的例子。例子是我绞尽脑汁挑选出来的，至少可以说服我自己。但是尽管这样，写起来还是很困难，因为稍不慎就会罗嗦，稍一罗嗦，一页纸就写完了。“罗马不是一天建成的”，同样，我的PS也不是一天写完的。在第一版的创作过程中，断断续续经过了几个星期。每写完一部分，就要整理思路：对我来说，就是梦中构思。我是一个比较自由散漫的人，写东西不是很喜欢写提纲，总是把模糊的框架放在头脑里。因此每次停下笔在此构思的时候，都不是在原有提纲下的修补，而是一个重新思考的过程。这大概不是写作的好习惯。不过对于我写PS来说，这样就更容易抛弃旧的计划，每次都可能迸出新的火花，所以再次提笔的时候，就会有新的激情。这样，在初稿完成时，我的PS已经经历了多次“进化”了。3.激情退却相互修改写PS真是个费神的工作。写完了第一版以后虽然心里的石头总算往下落了一点，但感觉有点精疲力竭。随着写作“激情”的退却，接下来的时间似乎又回到了写之前的状态——盯着屏幕发呆。这种状态持续了好几天，在图书馆一坐就是一整天，但是改不了几个字，一是因为实际在第一版定稿的时候，就已经改过无数遍了，二是因为有些地方可能需要大规模地改，但是自己却有点舍不得“打破旧秩序”，仅是在原有的地方修修补补。这样持续了几天，感觉有点受不了了，虽然明知道还有很多自己不满意的地方，但是再也不想再多看它一眼了。此时其她几个人的PS也写得差不多了，于是我们打算“换换口味”，把自己的PS和别人的交流一下，互相修改，这样可以增加新鲜感，可以听听别人对自己PS的意见和建议，也可以从别人的文章中借鉴一些经验。申请过程中同伴之间的互相帮助是非常重要的。在这个意义上，我觉得我们4个人都是幸福的，因为我们每个人都不是孤军奋战，遇到困难时身边总有能理解并且愿意帮助自己的朋友。记得申请的那段时间，我们几个经常在傍晚时到未名湖畔散步，聊天。在申请的郁闷阶段，这样的聊天总会使人感到平静而愉快。这样，我们几个人相互修改，将自己的想法告诉其他人，又从其他人那里吸取对自己有益的地方；修改后再进行交流。于是我们的PS第二版，第三版……问世了，内容和结构也都比以前完善了许多。4.重燃激情，重整思路有了前面的修改工作，我的PS已经更加改善了。但是仍然存在自己不甚满意的地方。这个时候，我想到可以借鉴前辈们的经验。此时自己的思路已经形成，别人的文章不再会约束自己的思想了，而且会激起共鸣和火花。因此我从一些网上论坛中找到了一些PS的样本，包括和我的专业相同的。从中我得到了很多启发，并将其运用到自己的文章中。同时，我也将“梦中构思”的“传统”延续了下来，又经过了一段时间，我终于下决心将一些我不满意的地方彻底重新安排了一下。这样一来，思路比前几版由更加清晰了许多。这时候，自己已经感觉比较满意了。5.寻觅高人至此为止，虽然已经自己感觉比较满意了，但是这篇英语的文章毕竟还没有让地道的“native speaker(说本族语的人)”提过意见，难免会存在一些“chinglish(中文化的英语)”的地方。而最终要评价他的人是外国的教授，因此地道的英语表达是很重要的。于是我决定向native speaker或者至少是生活在外国的人寻求帮助。说起这个阶段，要感谢几个朋友，首先是在多伦多的lili，那段时间他很忙，但是却十分仔细地帮我修改了PS，不仅是语言上的，还有内容，对我启发很大；还有就是前面提到过的远在芝加哥的闷豆师兄，我们一般都是在QQ上遇到，每遇到都是他那里很晚的时候了，他却十分耐心地看我的PS并且提出了很多“建设性”的意见。有这样好的朋友真是一种幸福。当然，这两个朋友都是在外国学习的中国人，说起native speaker，就要提起狂人gg了。与他结识的过程中还有着我和七十二小时的一段“奇遇”呢。那段时间我和七十二小时都在为找不到native speaker给我们的PS提意见而苦恼着。虽然学校里面经常可以看到外国人，但我们却一个也不认识。而我有可能找到的外国人，却说的不是英语。我们也试过在一些国外的论坛上找陌生的人帮我们修改，但效果不好，而且通过虚拟的网络与完全不认识的外国人交流感觉有些不妥。因此那时我们两个都绞尽脑汁想办法找到可靠的native speaker。一天晚上，我们两个在聊天时，无意中提到了学校勺园一带的外国留学生很多；并且一时心血来潮想去那里随便找一个过路的留学生，请他/她帮我们提点意见。一开始我们都觉得这个决定有点荒唐，不过思考了几秒钟后，一致同意这是一个很好的主意。于是我们把各自的PS整齐地钉在一起，并加上一个“封面”，上面写上我们的联系方式和名字，于是就出发了。来到勺园前面的路上，我们徘徊良久。很奇怪，那天不知为什么勺园门口的人很少，留学生就更少，偶尔有几个也是一边聊天一边前进，又不好去打搅。等了十几分钟，我们泄气了，看来是赶的时间不好。于是我又提议到勺园地下舞厅去看看，据说那里总是有很多人。进入舞厅后我们才发现，里面远远没有我们想象得热闹，人很少，而且，更让我们恼怒的是，居然一个外国人都没有。我们坐在沙发上，要了两杯饮料，边喝边聊天。饮料喝完，还不见我们想找的人进来，于是只好作罢，回到了宿舍。白跑了一趟，心有不甘。这时，我忽然想起高中有个朋友现在在大学的英语系学习，可算是是学校的“名人”，认识的留学生很多，或许可以通过她认识一下。于是我拨通了她的电话。电话那边的声音熟悉而兴奋，我们聊着，仿佛又回到了高中时代。听说我要找人修改PS，她便向我们介绍了一个也在北大的留学生，这就是狂人gg。狂人gg是个很热心的人，后来我们才知道他已经帮助很多人改过PS，可以说是经验丰富。我和七十二小时当时觉得有点过意不去，一下子给了他两份PS看，而自己还有很多事情要忙。但我们又没有其他的办法。狂人gg耐心仔细地帮我们将PS中不是很地道的表达都指出来并提出了修改意见，又在我们见面的时候说分别了自己对我们两个的文章的建议。我们修改后又将文章传给他，他每次都耐心地提出自己的看法。在申请过程中确实能结识到一些很好的朋友，我们的申请成功也有他们的功劳，真是要谢谢他们了。6.暂时定稿，将修改进行到底让native speaker修改过以后，自己在进行一些必要的调整，我的PS基本上就定下来了。不过在没有打印出来寄走之前，还是要不断修改，使其不断完善。这里再简单说一下针对不同学校的PS的写法。过去我以为需要针对每一个学校写出完全不同的PS，后来才发现，这根本就是不可能的。读者从前面的步骤也可以看出来了，如果每个学校写一篇，恐怕一年也写不完了。而且完全没有必要。当然，如果对于不同学校选择的专业不同的话，那是另一回事了，那种情况下当然要根据专业的不同写出不同的内容。因为我们申请的专业基本上都一样，所以PS的整体框架和内容也都相同，只是针对“为什么选择这所学校”的那部分要突出各个学校的特点，表现出自己对学校有充分的了解。了解的方法一个是学校寄来的材料，一个是学校的网站。每个学校都有自己的特点，它的材料和网站上都会有所突出，抓住学校的特点，在将其与自己的特点和优势结合在一起，表现出自己与学校的文化是相容的，就算是成功了。因此，针对一个学校的PS写出后，再写另一个学校的，就不是一件难事了。PS基本定稿后，虽然还需要继续修改，但心里总算是轻松了许多。接下来还有很多事情要干，调整心情，准备继续奋斗！作者：会跳舞的蚊子
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个人陈述中的五类典型问题 太傻留学频道 不同学校对陈述内容规定的问题往往不尽相同。有的学校几乎不作规定；有的却列出指定问题；有的学校对字数或页数有所限制,有的则没有；有的只要求一份“个人陈述”，有的却要求几篇短文；还有的除写一篇或几篇任选的短文外，还规定一篇必写的“个人陈述”。以下是申请普通研究生和法学院、商学院及医学院研究生院常见的具有代表性的问题。 　　 第一类问题：高度自由发挥 　　 这类问题只是泛泛要求申请人谈谈自己的背景、爱好、目标或任何自己感兴趣的话题，有的甚至连篇幅长短都不作限定。 　　 --Provide any additional information you wish to bring to the attention of the Admission Committee. You may wish to discuss particular accomplishments, activities, employment, hobbies, or professional goals. 　　 --We require all applicants to submit a personal statement. The statement should describe any unusual aspects of your background which might contribute to the diversity of our student body as well as describe any extraordinary skills or traits that you might possess which would be relevant to us. 　　 --Please submit a personal statement not exceeding 500 words in length on a matter that interests you. 　　 第二类问题：讲述有益经历 　　 这类问题要求申请人对以往的成功或失败经历做分析检讨。 　　 --Please discuss any significant activities or work experience which might enrich your study at our school. 　　 --Describe an experience (either personal or professional) in which you failed. What did you learn from that experience? 　　 第三类问题：挖掘求学动机 　　 这类问题比较明确地要求申请人回答为什么选择该校，尤其是申请人能从该校获得什么。 　　 --Tell us your reasons for seeking a professional education. 　　 --At this point in your life, what motivates you to consider further education at our school? 　　 --Discuss the aspects of your background and experience that have led you to choose a career in… 　　 --This statement is your opportunity to introduce yourself to the admissions committee and to discuss your personal and professional goals. 　　 --How would you want your professional achievements and contributions to be remembered after your death? 　　 --Discuss how a degree from our school/program will assist you in reaching your short - and long-term goals. 　　 第四类问题：总结个人性格 　　 这类问题要求申请人在回答的同时,对自己的性格特征进行分析总结。 　　 --Please comment on your strengths and weaknesses in certain courses or activities. 　　 --Discuss an ethical dilemma you have faced and how you dealt with it. 　　 --If you could have dinner with any three people (alive now or from another era), who would they be and what would you hope to learn from them? 　　 第五类问题：剖析不足之处 　　 这类问题要求申请人对自身的不足之处作进一步说明。 　　 --If you are unable to submit the minimum number of recommendation forms that we request, please give your reasons. 　　 --Please explain anything in your application that does not accurately reflect your abilities or potential for successful graduate study. 　　 --Discuss any unique aspect of your personal or professional background that may not be adequately presented elsewhere in this application. 　　 当然，由于申请的学校（学院）不同，问题也会有所变化。下面对法学院、医学院及其他各类研究生院分别介绍有关要求。 　　 法学院 　　 由于法律行业要求研究人员或从业人员都具有很强的文字表达能力，法学院比其他类型的学院更加注重从"个人陈述"中体察申请人传情达义和缜密推理的能力。因此,法学院评审委员会更看重的是从申请人的陈述中，他们能发现什么，而不是陈述文章的长短。 　　 商学院 　　 商学院的申请材料中往往包含考察申请人是否具有成为经理、领导人员和团队成员的潜质。以下是三个常见的要求： 　　 --Describe a situation in which you were compelled to take a stand against the majority. How did this experience strengthen your understanding of leadership? 　　 --Discuss a significant accomplishment that demonstrates your potential as a leader and a manager. 　　 --Describe a situation in which you were part of a group working to solve a problem and your contribution to that goal. 　　 这三个问题分别从与压力抗衡、领导潜质和合作精神三个方面入手考察申请人的素质。 　　 医学院 　　 标准的AMCAS（American Medical College Application Service, 美国医学院申请服务中心）仅要求申请人提供一份“个人陈述”，而各个医学陆军的附加申请材料则常有关于以往经历的问题。 　　 其他各类研究生院 　　 申请人通常需在"个人陈述"中说明自己的学术研究兴趣所在及长期计划。
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名教授教你写PS 留学E路通精华区，转自瀚海星云站，清风紫竹整理 可能现在还有不少朋友正在准备出国的各种文件，我偶然发现曾经在美国名校法学院任录取新生委员会委员的Mr. Fong-Sandoval就personal statement发表的建议，可能对已经着手和将来准备着手的朋友有相当大的帮助　　Q:Mr. Fong-Sandoval, We were hoping you could begin by describing your duties as a member of the Admissions Committee.　　A:Gladly, when I served on it, the Admissions Committee was comprised of a total of eleven people:　six students, four professors, and the Director of Admissions.　I read ten personal statements every day for a total of three months.　We started reading the statements in early January, but it would pile up until I was reading 15 statements per day because applications sent in closer to the deadline increased the workload of the Admissions Committee.　　　　Q：Did your duties include other tasks besides evaluating personal statements?　　A:Yes, I read each application package I was assigned in its entirety. A committee member reads all the materials in each application package he or she is assigned, which includes undergraduate GPA, LSAT report, and letters of recommendation. I paid careful attention to each applicant's undergraduate course load, and the types of classes taken. I also considered their major. Some applica　　I found this to be very helpful in getting a clearer picture of the applicant. I strongly suggest that applicants include a resume even if it is not required for the application. As for the letters of recommendation, my advice is that they should be lengthy enough to convey to the reader the impression that the person making the recommendation knows the applicant well.　Moreover, the letter of recommendation should shed light on the applicant's personality and capabilities.　　Q:Of all the materials that comprise a law school application package, which component was, in your opinion, the most important?　　A:The PERSONAL STATEMENT. Most applicants that the Committee considered, regardless of their undergraduate major or GPA category, have roughly the same numbers.　We were looking for real people, not mere numbers.　　　I can tell you for a fact that some applicants with a straight 4.0 undergraduate GPA and a high LSAT score were denied admission because they wrote horrible personal statements. The Admissions Committee felt that these people did not take the application process seriously.　　Q:Previously you mentioned that the Admissions Committee received most of the applications towards the application deadline. In your opinion, should applicants submit their applications as early as possible?　　A:Well, yes and no.　Yes, if they have dedicated the right amount of time and thought to their application. You see, the early applications received more attention because we had more time to review them. With regard to the personal statements, we could tell who had put in the time and effort, and who had not.　　My advice is that it is better to turn in a strong personal statement later on in the process, rather than turning in a mediocre one earlier. By that I mean take time to perfect your personal statement because the Admissions Committee will notice the level of attention that you have given your personal statement, no matter when you turn it in.　　If I were a student who was going to turn in a statement early and had not revised or edited it considerably, I would take the extra time to make sure it is well developed and send it in closer to the application deadline.　　　You waste the advantages of early submission if you turn in a bad personal statement. It's a trade off. Nevertheless, don't be too close to the deadline because if the school has rolling admissions most of theavailable spots would have been filled by then.　　Q:How much time did you spend on each statement?　　A:In the first half of the semester about six to eight minutes. In the second half of the semester, due to the increased volume of applications towards the deadline, I was only able to dedicate about three to five minutes per statement.　　Q:In light of the fact that your average reading time fell from seven to four minutes per personal statement, what is your advice to applicants?　　A:A COMPELLING introduction is the most important part of a law school personal statement. As I begin reading, the introduction can put me in a positive or negative mindset for the rest of the essay. A strong introduction catches my attention, makes a good first impression, and compels me to read on carefully and with interest.　　Q:You said that if you found the introduction compelling, you would read the rest of the applicant's essay "carefully," as i but would an applicant necessarily think a "careful" reading is good?　　A:On the whole, yes. Let me explain. I think I know what you are driving at, and yes, a careful reading means the personal statement must not only start strong, but finish strong.　　Also, the more attention I give an essay, the more likely I'm going to see errors I might not so thorough editing is essential. However, the more attention an applicant gets, the more the opportunity for a personal connection between the reader and the applicant.　　Q:If established, will this personal connection necessarily translate to the applicant being accepted?　　A:Not necessarily, but I'll tell you one thing--it gets that person CLOSER to being accepted than the other applicant who wrote a dull personal statement.　Dull personal statements are a chore to read. Indeed, I know for a fact that dry, dull, and unmotivated personal statements actually WORK AGAINST applicants.　　The bad writing tells me that the applicant did not take the application process seriously. Let me emphasize that the application process includes making the effort to write an engaging personal statement, not just merely listing your stellar grades.　While your good grades get you noticed, this notice may not be enough to gain you acceptance if the rest of your application package is deficient.　　Q:Was the recommendation of only one member enough to accept or reject an applicant?　　A:One committee member's recommendation was not enough, in and of itself.　But one member's recommendation did carry some weight with the other Committee members.　　Q:Given that there are many readers, would you advise that the personal statement be written in such a way that it engages many different people?　　A:Sure, but always make sure that is clear, well written, and COMPELLING.　　Q:In your opinion, what did a winning personal statement consist of?　　A:Consistently, the personal statements that grabbed my attention, and in my opinion, other readers' as well, had a THEME. These personal statements had a structure that clued me in quickly as to the applicant's experience, traits, and potential. Thus, the winning statement laid a solid foundation in the first paragraph.　　The winning personal statement needs to build on that foundation and demonstrate that the applicant has direction in life and has the drive, ambition, and motivation to make it in law school and beyond. The personal statement is a window to the personality of the applicant and should be crafted carefully.　　Indeed, one should leave an impression that one is confident but not arrogant. A little modesty helps as well. I wasn't that interested in the list of an applicant's accomplishments. I was more interested in their character and potential.　　Q:So, would it be fair to say that the use of themes like "overcoming adversity," "personal growth, " or "family history," as well as the use of analogies help make a personal statement stronger?　　A:Definitely!　　　　Q:At the other end of the spectrum, what, in your opinion, makes a personal statement a loser?　　A:Disorganization. A bad personal statement forces the reader to dig into the statement to even get a faint idea as to the personality and potential of the applicant. Writing a statement that asks for effort from the reader is a nonstarter.Another problem area is lack of enthusiasm.　　I liked to see a little passion from applicants as to why they want to become lawyers. I wanted to see some drive. I also wanted to see how they contributed to their community or their school. Another concern is whether the applicant appears conscious of his/her identity and accomplishments.　　Another indicator of a poor personal statement is typos. I believe that everyone on the Admissions Committee sees typos as red flags. Typos show that the applicant clearly did not take the personal statement seriously. Avoid long paragraphs and run-on sentences. Don't get too complex. Don't get too fancy either.　　Stay away from nontraditional formats or gimmicks--like writing your personal statement as a legal memo, printing it on legal pleading paper, or formatting it as a legal declaration/affidavit. I thought that such gimmicks were pretentious and the other committee members thought that the gimmicks discounted the content of the personal statements.　　Q:Exactly how competitive is the law school application process?　　A:Very competitive. Most people's GPA and LSAT scores are pretty much the same--they fall within a tight range. Everyone, in terms of interests, is pretty much the same: similar clubs, similar schools, similar classes. The only area, in my mind, where you can really set yourself apart and shine is in your personal statement.　　Of course, stellar academics are always going to put you into a positive light.　However, good numbers do not excuse the applicant from taking the application process seriously.　　Q:Please rate the importance of the following elements in the personal statement evaluation process: creativity, clarity, personal feel, format or organizing theme, and voice or perspective taken by the applicant. Please rate each of these on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most important.　　A:Well, most of the criteria you mentioned are interrelated and all are important. Indeed, I expected each one to be present in the statements I was reading. It's hard to separate them, so it is hard to rate them on a 1 to 10 scale. However, since you posed the question, here are my estimations Creativity:　　This element is important because you want to connect with the reader early and maintain that connection throughout the statement. Dull, boring, uncreative writing will not draw the reader in, and will not hold the reader's interest.Clarity:　　This is important because this element is assumed to exist in all the personal statements that the Admissions Committee reads. It is a threshold assumption of competent writing. Now, if the applicant does something to shake that assumption, I'd say the applicant would have serious problems getting accepted. A reader must be able to follow along with the personal statement. The writer must be able to clearly communicate his or her character, feelings, thoughts, or messages. Personal Feel:　　My definition of "personal feel" is how much the applicant connects with the reader. The personal feel is what can really convey your character and potential if done correctly. Creating or developing a personal feel, or personal connection, is the most important aspect of writing a personal statement, that's why I gave it a 10.　　However, it is probably also the most difficult aspect of writing a personal statement. An applicant might want to have a neutral person, someone who doesn't know the applicant well, read the personal statement to test for this personal feel. The neutral reader's feedback is valuable because they are in the same position as the Admissions Committee--anything unclear to your reader will most likely be unclear to the Admissions Committee, too.Format or Theme:　　In my opinion, regardless of how personal or creative the statement is, if it's unorganized, it shows that the applicant does not know how to write well.　A format or theme is basic to any essay.　We assume that given the application schedule, each applicant will have come up with some theme or format.　The absence of a theme or format is absolutely inexcusable!Voice and Perspective:　　I would rate and analyze this element the same as "creativity" because it involves the same concerns. 　　Q:Above all else, what mistake should an applicant avoid in drafting their personal statement?　　A:Avoid a superficial approach, you must be PERSONAL that's why this essay is called a "personal statement."　　Q:So you would agree with the summary that personal connection/revelation is the most important element of a law school personal statement?　　A:Yes, because it shows me and the school what makes you a viable candidate, what will contribute to your success, and it conveys your character.　We are looking for people, not numbers.　　Q:Thank you for your time and your insight, Mr. Fong-Sandoval.　　A:You're very welcome.
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个人经验我在去年帮助我老公做了20几所学校的申请，所以在申请方面也积累了一些经验。我相信Personal Statement (PS)和Recommendation Letter (RL)的写作可能是大家在申请过程中遇到的最大问题了。思马得工作室出的一些GRE的书，在这些书的后面有做书信服务的广告，说是一个G2300，T660，GPA3.7的人被美国大学拒之门外，而一个G不足2000，T607，GPA2.9的申请者却获得众多大学的录取和奖学金，原因就是申请书信决定着他们的命运。我相信确有其事，因为在我的身边就有这样的例子。我在上研究生的时候，高我一届的一位师姐，曾经对我说过，他们那一届申请的同学里面，确实存在着GT分数最高的一个男生去了一所极差的学校，而GT勉强上的一个女生却去了他们那一届所有申请者中最好的大学。我没有拜读过他们的PS和RL。但是我相信他们的申请书信确实存在着差异，不然不可能相差那么大。只不过，个人意见，我从不相信那些写作工作室会写出什么真正意义上的优质书信。因为隔行如隔山，外行人是肯定不可能讲内行话的。所以我连任何一本关于写申请书信方面的指导书也没有看过，并且也从来没有在网上看任何范文。因为我相信，既然你可以找到这样的范文，别人也一样可以找到，如果大家写的东西都一样的话，你还怎么突出你自己的个性呢？所以我下面写的内容如有雷同，纯属巧合。 我写PS和RL的写作原则来源于我在北京青年报上看到的一篇文章-----是对一个美国教授的采访，徐小平的签证哲学，以及我对美国人价值观人生观的观察和思考。具体总结PS和RL的写作原则就是： 1. 专业原则 你在你的PS和RL里首先要写大量的专业性的东西，并且在写RL的时候尤其要以指导老师的口吻写很多你做实验的细节性的东西，并且说你如何解决了一些决定性的问题。因为谁都可以说自己做了什么什么很难的东西，可是如何让对方信服，就看这些细节性的东西了。就象去骗签证官，如果你无法说出一两个专业名词的话，即使有大学毕业证书证明你是哪所学校什么专业毕业的，也不能让签证官相信你确实是去美国上学，而不是去打工或移民什么的。因为任何文件都可以造假，而你的思想是造不了假的。你要尽量把你的思想给反映出来。道理是一样的。 你一定要记住，美国的大学之所以给你奖学金，求着你去学他们的理工科专业，并不是因为你的英语学的比美国人好，GRE考的比美国人高，或是想给中国免费培养人才，而是你能为他们做实验，能给他们出文章，你在美国攻读学位期间所做的工作将会或大或小的为美国的经济发展做出贡献，尽管也许一时还看不出来。所以，专业原则是最重要的一个原则。你可以在写作的时候出一点小错误（当然最好是没有），也许你的辞藻不是很华丽，但是，这些小纰漏都可以原谅，我相信美国大学的录取老师不会就这些表面的东西抓住不放，因为你的母语毕竟不是英语，但如果你对自己的专业一无所知的话，这就不可原谅了！ 正因为这个原则，所以我不认为求助于一些专业的写作机构可以给你带来什么好处。 2. 个性原则： 我相信申请出国的大多数人都不是牛人。当你不是牛人，无法向对方吹嘘自己是多么的聪明的时候，你就必须向对方展现自己的个人魅力。当你坐在计算机前开始写作的时候，你一定要想清楚自己是什么样的人，自己有什么优点。如果你不能让对方相信你的聪明和爱因斯坦是同数量级的（这种人指的是毕业于名校，GPA在3.8以上），那么你就应该让他相信你的勤奋或是坚韧的毅力与阿甘相比有过之而无不及，--------当然你也可以想出你的其他优点。不过，你也不要把我的意思弄拧了，我并不是说，你不能说自己是聪明的，而是说，你或许可以着更多的笔墨在你的勤奋上。毕竟，聪明仅仅是成功的一个因素，而你的毅力，合作力等等可能是成功更重要的因素。你应该善于揣摩对方的心理，要知道，不管是中国的导师还是外国的导师都希望自己的学生把大部分时间花在实验上，而且做事要有责任心，要有百折不挠的勇气，而有时聪明的学生可能这方面做的并不很好。 3. 优势突出原则和实话原则： 这两个原则本来都不想写，因为觉得谁都应该知道的，可是考虑到可能还是有人没能明白这个原则，所以还是得写。我丈夫就是这样的。他的第一篇PS给我看了，他谈到了他父亲的死对他的影响，谈到了要为中国的富强做出贡献（看的我好感动），可是他对自己人生的闪光点却只字未提。我对他说要重写，而且第一篇一个字也不能保留。他的PS应该是这样的：他于某某年以全年级第一名的成绩被保送到北京大学化学系（并且此时要注明全年级有多少人），并且北京大学是全中国排名第一的大学。又因为在北京大学学习优秀，在多少多少人中脱颖而出，在某某年获得年级或系里的奖学金。并且又于某某年因为在多少人中排名多少名，被著名的北京大学保送到著名的中国科学院读研究生，等等。下面的就不用我说了吧，反正你曾经获得过什么奖励，获得过什么特殊的机会是一定要写明白的。对了，还有你的最有说服力的优势，就是你发表的论文。你的文章是在什么杂志上发表的，这个杂志有没有被SCI收录，SCI影响因子是多少，也一定要写清楚。这可是重头戏，对你的录取有极大帮助。所以大家千万不要小看你的文章，而且如果有可能的话，尽量往国外杂志上发。 然后是实话原则。从小在中国的政治课中教育出来的中国学生们喜欢喊口号，回忆一下我们上的作文课，语文老师谆谆教导我们写作文立意要新，眼光要高，最后都要归结为要为四化做贡献这样的大而宽的主题中去。可是，有谁能真正相信自己学习的最内在的动力是为祖国做贡献呢？写PS的时候不是展现你的爱国心的地方。一个一直在社会主义下成长和受教育的人尚且不会相信你拿学位的最大动力是因为爱国，更何况是一个西方思想的老外？所以你宁可把自己讲的普通一些，也不要给别人留下不诚实的印象。不过，你一定要谈你学习某某专业的动机，最好也最普通的动机是你的兴趣，或是你对未来事业的设想，但是，不管你写什么，你一定要让对方相信这确实是你最内在也是最直接的动机。-----既然写了，就一定要写的象些。 4. 自信原则： 美国人喜欢自我表现，他们喜欢自信的人。不管你是写PS，还是去见签证官，或是以后在课堂上做presentation，你都要牢记这个原则。所以自信原则是贯穿于你的PS始终的。你要象展示你的传家宝一样自信的向他们展示你闪光点，也要以expert的语气大谈你做过的课题。所有你的这些语气，都会为你赢得不少分数的。 5. 清楚原则： 所谓的清楚原则，就是你的PS中没有任何有疑问的地方。就象写专业论文一样，如果有缩写，在出现的第一次，你一定要写出它的全称，打个括号写上缩写（当然是除了众所周知的，譬如GRE，TOEFL之类的）。如果你拿过奖学金，一定要象我在优势突出原则中写的那样，要注明是在多少人的竞争中拿到的。并且，你上的大学排名多少也一定要注明。因为外国人是不可能非常清楚地了解中国大学的情况的，所以你一定要给别人留下清楚的感觉。这样，你的才华才不会被埋没。 6． 简洁原则： 这个原则来源于我看到的OF156表上，申请学生签证时必须填的学习计划。以后大家会看到，这一项中给的空格特别小，估计也只够写下30-40字的，而学习计划则是多么庞大的一个课题啊！老公不禁抱怨美国人小气，那么节省纸张。其实，美国人倒不是为了节省纸张，而是为了节省时间。不会有人会有时间去看你的冗长的叙述的，所以你一定要写的简洁。我认为一篇PS以一张半A4纸为宜，最多也不能超过两页。一封RL也就一页纸。但是，你在这么少的篇幅里一定要写出你的个性。如果能用一句话写的，千万不要用两句话。有效的用一些同位语插入，缩短你的篇幅，当然这是以句子流畅为前提的，不要把文章写的象GRE的阅读那么晦涩难懂。每段开头最好有一个topic sentence，这样让看的人可以最快的抓住主题，不要让人家看半天也不知道你想说什么。反正要用最短的篇幅反映最多的内容。譬如说我给老公在OF156表上写的学习计划是这样的：某某领域，在中国正方兴未艾，而美国某某大学的某某教授是这个领域的领头羊，我相信我在某某大学学习这个专业一定会对我回到中国后，在这个领域的发展起到巨大的促进作用的。基本上两句话就够了，既说明了你学这个专业的目的，也说明了你为什么回国。 反正我想原则性的东西就这些了，具体的写作还要靠大家去自己把握。文章写好后，最好给英文好的人看一下，再请自己专业的人看一下。多找几个人最好。 其他的想法： 很多人在讨论套瓷有没有什么作用，我曾在GTER的网站上看到一个台湾人写的文章，说是他得到了5个学校的OFFER，其中只有一个学校是套瓷得来的。确实如此，我认为套瓷的成功率只有20%，甚至更低。我老公在联系学校的时候，也套过瓷。并且他的研究方向是一种中国特有的中草药，而且他还就这种中药发表了一篇SCI2.0以上的文章。当时最为难得的就是美国有一所大学的一个教授也在研究这种中药，于是就写信去套瓷，人家教授倒是很热情，信件往来了好几封，照道理来说，这所学校是最有希望的一个，可是他还是把我老公给拒了。后来是一个没有套瓷的学校给他发来的OFFER。所以我认为套瓷的作用不大，因为即使教授要你，可还是要通过研究生院或系里，这会儿，就看这个教授有没有实权了。如果他讲不上话，那跟没套瓷也差不多。所以大家还是要把精力放在申请上，套瓷是你把所有材料都寄出去以后才做的事。千万不要本末倒置。 还有，我在GTER上还看到一篇文章，说是春季入学是没有奖学金的。不过，我有两个同学都申请了春季入学，都拿到了奖学金。春季入学的名额虽然少，但也不是绝对没有。 好了，文章写到这里就差不多了，如果我的这篇文章能给你一些帮助的话，也就不冤枉我坐在这儿敲了一个晚上的键盘。 最后祝所有的寄托者都能实现自己的梦想。 出处：http://211.99.212.14/bbs/d... 提供者：
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zhangheng1020 编辑于
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caleb点评自己的PS 留学E路通精华区，转自水木清华站，清风紫竹整理 Statement of PurposeMy birthplace determined the core of myself./*第一句是很关键的。我曾想过很多，结果还是用了这个最不得意的。因为它最符合整篇的风格。*/Born in Liaohe Oil field/*辽河油田，我的家乡*/,an area that has long been so savage and desolate that rarely did people reside there, I was able to witness how my parents and other workers fought with relentless determination and how they strove to explore the great uncertainty for treasure-crude oil./*为下文埋下伏笔*/ Apart from the bravery, another great benefit I obtained was learning to be unfettered when dealing with problems. Since most problems they encountered everyday were fresh to them, my parents and their peers had to throw off the trammel of additional ways and seek alternatives. Thus, innovation was ingrained in my character even before I received any formal education./*米国人欣赏INNOVATION，也正好是自己的真实写照，所以重笔描绘。*/Thanks to the austerity of my birthplace, I was endowed with many dominant characteristics, which influenced both my private life as well as academic life in my future. /*现在想想的确如此，小时候的漫天疯跑玩耍真的养成了CALEB放荡不羁的性格*/Combining them with my own diligence and intelligence, I was able to distinguish myself to enter "Chicago" No. 2 Senior High School. The reason why I chose it was not only for its reputation of "the cradle of future college students," but also because of its unique didactics-leaving great room for self-improvement. This seemed radical compared to other schools then, but fortunately it suited my innovative nature very much. Instead of being ossified by lectures or textbooks, we were encouraged to learn by ourselves, communicate, and cooperate with others (for instance, we always formed into groups to discuss specific topics like the theme of an essay or a historic figure) and participate in extracurricular activities./*高中是一所重点高中。2中的特点就是崇尚自由发展，课堂时间短，自习时间长，活动时间长。想想当时2中的生活真的给自己养成了好的思维习惯。同样， 段也是迎合鬼子崇尚自由的心理，当然说的也是事实，没有丝毫的虚构*/Everything went on smoothly until I met the biggest challenge of my life - I failed to enter Tsinghua University, maybe the best university in China, on the National College Entrance Test (NCET, similar to SAT). I was unable to face the fact for a long while although I was admitted to "University of Minnesota", another prestigious higher education institute of China. However, my brave nature dominated and made me stand again to confront the unsuccessfulness. Up to now, I still feel proud of my choice and the very effort I made to fulfill my goal then. Despite the failure, I did succeed in gaining self-assurance under any unfavorable circumstances. /* 高考时真的没考上清华，现在回头看看真是遗憾，那时太小，根本不懂一个好大学对自己有什么影响。要是当时能把自己申请的一半力气用上，估计肯定能考上了。这段其实是照应前面的 BRAVERY。也为自己不是名校出身做了一点点委婉的解释。*/During four years' college study, I was chosen into the Talented Student Program after an extremely stiff competition - screening nearly 1,700 freshmen for the best 35./*就是所谓的尖子班，好象很多学校都有，清华我一个同学就是*/ We had a much harder burden but enjoyed an eclectic syllabus as you can see from my transcripts. /* 本科的课程很杂，当时也很辛苦，不过很值得。现在看可解决大问题了。 这绝对是自己申请中的一个优势。*/We were able to hear lectures given by almost all prominent professors of the university, from mathematical analysis to strategy management./*说这两门课是因为数学很重要，而且我的一封推荐信就是让数学分析老师写的，有所照应，至于战略管理也同理可证*/ I was completely enchanted by the academic world, from abstract theory of mathematics to practical principles of economics. Academics was so intriguing to me that it was during this period of time that I made up my mind to take academics as my career goal, specifically, be a professor in a university. I chose management as major because management had long been ignored in China and few people had ever made great efforts to explore this "savage and desolate" area, just like my birthplace - Liaohe Oil Field./*这一小段可以说是我自己感觉最精彩的一部分，照应了前面的 叙述，把选择专业的问题回答的很圆满，其实说实话，自己心理的潜意识也是这么想的，说心里话当然很容易了。*/Thus it will be challenging but deserving if I devote myself to the study of this area. /*这段是回答问什么选择本专业的问题。到大学时才确定是比较正常的思路，也容易为人所接受。*/My first exploration was my undergraduate work paper---"Research on Industrial Organization of Fodder Industry of "Minnesota Province". It was a totally new subject to me, to most of my classmates and even some professors because the theory was introduced to China very recently. I did the research mainly by quantitative analysis on historical data. A simple mathematical model/*其实就是一元线形回归分析*/ was established to interpret and predict the status of industrial organization of "Minnesota" fodder industry. Through about 4 months research, I understood what is a researcher's work: from the very beginning, identifying the problem, seeking related data and documents, making himself familiar with various views on the problem, analyzing and organizing them from his own to synthesize the result of the academic activity: a report, a paper, or a thesis./*的确当时写论文是大姑娘上矫---头一遭，所以特别用心。虽然数据有“伪造”嫌疑，但是现在回头看看，觉得风格还是满正式的。 */While exposed to various academic fields to broaden my horizon during college study, I narrowed my efforts on basic research skills and did research mainly by myself during graduate study. I firmly believe that by doing so, I would make my academic future more grounded and better prepared. I drilled myself on computer programming for a specific academic aim (i.e. seeking the best solutions of optimistic problems) instead of just for fun. By searching indexes or Internet for specific materials for my own research, I began to be accustomed to taking advantage of these basic academic skills. From 2nd year of graduate study I participated in the research sponsored by the Science & Tech Commission of "Chicago" municipal government. The research is quite comprehensive but mainly involves investigating the organizational transformation of "Chicago" Science & Tech research institutes from public to profitable sectors and how to improve their effectiveness from strategic perspective. /*到了这一段，我自己感觉我PS开写走下坡路了。很简单，因为我的研究生生活过的远不象本科乃至高中时那么爽。本科的精英教育让我一到研究生阶段非常的不适应，感觉老师怎么一个比一个差啊？因此没学什么正经东东，天天逃课。从研2开始申请一次，失败了之后再来。所以更是没干什么正是。体会不深，也写不出什么东西。*/ /*明眼人能看出来，一般的PS其实会把研究生的课题写的很多的。很多牛人也是 到这里开始出彩了。可是我却偏偏一笔带过。没什么，不是没向导，实在是不敢下笔。因为我的课题实际是研究国有资产，而“国有资产”这个词汇只有在中国讨论的很凶，米国鬼子根本就不放在眼里。所以也不敢展开。这一点实在是 我申请的“软肋”。后来UCLA的鬼子面试第一个问题就是这个，结果很自然的我就被句掉了。*/To fulfill my career goal, I intend to pursue my Ph.D. and further my study in a program best fit for me. Your honored program falls into my scope not only because of the great prestige of University of Michigan and the program, but also because 3 points so fascinating to me:* Rarely does any other program stress on academic innovation like yours. Needless to say, rarely does any other program fit my innovative nature like yours either.* The research-oriented program will allow me to take best advantage of my diverse skills developed during undergraduate and graduate study.* The small size of the program will provide me with more opportunity to share views with world-class faculty and learn from them./* 这一段是我冥思苦想出来的，因为要写为什么选择该笑，当时觉得太头疼了。为什么，就是要你的名和利吗。不过那么写太赤裸裸了。而要写的行云流水又不现实，所以我创造出来了个“列表”法， 把一些优点罗列出来。换一个学校就换几点。比较公式化。不过好象效果不太好。自己去判断吧。*/If I were fortunate enough to be admitted, I would like to concentrate my Ph.D. study on:* Organizational transformation, esp. research that investigates such behavior under transitional circumstances.* Strategic adaptation, esp. research that inquires how organizations design and implement new strategy dynamically.* Management of technology, esp. analysis of governmental and organizational effect on technology development./* 这段写要学什么方向去，我***其实学什么都成。只要给钱，钱，是我当时唯一要得到的东东。当然现在有了OFFER就装清高了，也得考虑考虑什么气候了，地点了等等。。。 但是不写还不太好。结果又是，我感觉自己不了解的东西一写是准穿帮。不专业，不地道。 */Your kind suggestion on this matter will be appreciated. At last, I am confident that under your seasoned guidance, I will fully develop my intellectual potential in academic research. It will come as no surprise that one-day, I become one of the foremost authorities on Chinese management after I graduate from your program./*最后一段是最差的了。 新东方的老师看了肯定会笑的前仰后合，因为就是造抄新东方的书信选。 我当时的PS自己感觉越写月走下坡路， 到最后竟然实在没有可写的了。 只好。。。”窃书不算偷书“了。 各位看官莫笑。*/---------------------------------------------------------------------总评：这篇PS的套路很简单， 就是个人成长型。本来想用更新奇的写法， 但想来想去，觉得自己功力不逮，还是作罢。当时正是GRE刚考完， 所以PS 里出现了很多大家很熟悉的词汇。有点卖弄了。不过还是有点效果。全文可能就是一些用词还算可圈可点。还有LIAOHE OIL FIELD的前后呼应是个亮点。别的其实也就平平。如果打分的话，我给自己打7分/10分满。当时写PS时曾给国内的2个朋友看，结果被狠狠批了一顿。 TRACY MM说我花太多笔墨在大学之前了。 浙大的网友说我没写出研究的东东。当时给我打击太大了。 花了这么长时间的酝酿就得到这么一个评论？后来让我的网妹---CLAUDIA（她在TEXAS）给我看。 并且我对她说一定要给 我找个“老教授”看看。并且开始不要对他说是谁写的，和她什么关系。 就是要他的第一印象。结果CLAUDIA对我说，教授当时看呆了，不住赞叹，而且让他产生了来中国的念头。我知道CLAUDIA一向是鼓励我，所以可能有点夸张。不过我敢肯定的是，我PS能打动一些鬼子。 这就足够了。严格说，我PS肯定会被很多牛人所耻笑。如我前面所说，我有些避实就虚了。一般人爱写的什么项目了，实验了，论文拉，我写的明显太少。现在回头看看，觉得自己没有走错。因为人的条件不同，牛人当然就是牛。我2年前认识的清华大牛， 一夜之间就能搞掂BEKELEY的OFFER，凭的就是他的文章。 但是他 PS写的，真是“又臭又长”（听到了您可别生气啊，呵呵）。可读性极差。前几天我让一个正准备出国的本科生看，他问我，这个人去哪了？我告诉他，他去的地方肯定你是去不成了。牛人就是这么样的牛---我的PS甚至都有错字，照别人抄的连性别都忘了改，照样有牛校接着。人比人得气死人。我的PS严格说不是STATEMENT OF PURPOSE， 而是PERSONAL STATEMENT。 这两者是有一点点区别的。前者可能就是大家印象中的那种中规中矩的PS， 而后者则走的是个人路线， 强调个人的性格和潜力，而不强调经验和成绩。这种风格国外的PS中常用。我觉得自己就是受他们的影响很深。当然最重要的是自己的确没什么可夸的。如果非名校的朋友们觉得自己没什么太多的成绩，不妨也试试走这种细腻的写法。如果学人家的长传冲吊，恐怕没什么前途。还有。我说了，我的PS前半段写的感觉比后面精彩，那是因为我有感而发，写的自然流畅一些。可是后面的就差多了。 希望您自己写的时候也试试？多写自己的真实感受，“为赋新词强说愁”恐怕效果更差。PS的好坏不会决定一个人的成功与否，但是写好了绝对加重成功的砝码。最后提醒各位，请领会精神，抄袭是没有前途的。后果自负。
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鬼子希望的PS太傻留学文书精华区，burbose上传 我友给我来一信,其中有些东东我想会对诸位申请者有所启迪. Good luck everyone! ----------------------------------------------------------------------- I took some time to read your statement. It’s telling. Anyway, I talked with the chair of our department today and asked about his opinion on what he expects one to be. He gave me a few points: First, you need to show why you’re interested in
biology. It could be just a brief history, a class or something that turned on your interest. But don’t give the impression of being too romantic. He told me about a bad statement, in which a Chinese student told the story of when he was 2 years old and his mother showed him a tadpole and he’s been interested in biology ever since then and bla bla bla... Second, tell what kind of field you would want to work in. Don’t be too specific because if there’s no one in the department doing such a thing, the committee will think you won’t be satisfied when you get here. So, you may check first to make sure that the research area you want in represented in the department. Third, tell why you want to be a Ph.D. This is generally showing that you’re interested in research. I told them you have been in the lab. ’Them’ means the chair and his wife. They said you should stress that in your statement. I think you can write about what your lab is doing, what kind of experimental techniques are you using and what your role is in there. They also said that they are looking for someone with genuine interest in biology research and they expect this expressed in the statement. Since you’ve been working so long, you can sound more mature or formal when describing your lab experience. And, don’t make the statement too long, they get tired out before reaching the end. You can have your script read by some other teachers and have some feedback on what they think of it. ************************************************ Appendix: Guideline for writing the Study Plan:
In view of the relatively poor quality of the study plan we received in the past years, the department decides to offer more concrete guidelines to help applicants writing their study plans. The intention is to tell applicants what the department is looking for in the study plans, and how the applicants can best distinguish themselves during the admission process. Of course these guidelines are only recommendatory. Applicants are welcome to use their imagination whenever/wherever possible. The study plan serves three purposes. First, it shows how well applicants can express their ideas in plain English. This requires well-organized thinking skills as well as clear writing. Second, the study plan is supposed to show how much thought the applicants have given to the particular fields in which they want to study. For example, if an applicant wants to study Neural Networks, exactly how much they know about Neural Network and why do they think they are capable of doing research in this field should be clearly explained in the study plan. The third purpose of a study plan is to provide students with lesser grade an opportunity to present their intellectual accomplishments other than academic records. For research projects that require extensive hands-on capabilities, practical problem-solving skills will play as much important roles as course grades. To help the applicants write down the types of information that will interest the admission committee most, we prepare a list of specific questions that the applicants may consider to answer in their study plans. Again, answering these questions is not mandatory. They are suggested here to reduce the possibility of wasted efforts on the part of applicants. [1] What is the most significant achievement you’ve ever accomplished so far?
This could be a class project, a piece of artifact you built, or a research, and it doesn’t have to be related to Computer Science. [2] Is there any specific field you want to work on?
Please be as specific as you can. Try to explain how your academic background prepares you to do research in this (these) field(s). [3] If you have any previous research experiences , please explain them in terms of your roles in the projects, your own contributions, and most importantly the process of deriving the solutions/algorithms you developed, if any.
[4] In case your course grade is not particularly distinguished,
why do you think you still have what it takes to do graduate study in our department? Last suggestion: the applicants are advised to take writing the study plan as serious as they possibly can. Think of it as doing the homework for getting into graduate schools. The more efforts you spent on it, the better chances you have to be admitted into topnotch graduate programs. *********************************** The first paragraph of your personal statement, one or two sentences, should make clear the purpose of your writing: to present an interpretive summary of your background, academic interests, and future goals as justification for your admission to a program of graduate study. The second paragraph interprets your background for the graduate admissions committee. This paragraph should establish your academic preparation for the program to which you have applied. If you have been a strong student throughout your undergraduate years, you may call attention to what you believe have been strong combinations of courses which seem to fit your prospective graduate program well. If you have had ups and downs as your prospective graduate program well. If you have had ups and downs as an undergraduate, you may call attention to progressive improvement in your studies: i.e., the difference between your junior/senior GPA and your freshman/sophomore GPA or your record in selected course work that is directly related to the kinds of course work that you will undertake as a graduate student. If you scored well on whatever graduate examination that you took, you may want to cite that fact as well. Keep in mind that graduate admissions committees want assurance that you will be a successful student. If you have had relevant experiences, you may mention them here, too. Some graduate programs such as applied sociology or social work or resource development, etc. look for evidence that you have already sought out ways to translate your academic background into practical, professionally oriented applications. In short, this paragraph should assure the graduate admissions committee that you have matured during your undergraduate years, that your intellectual and professional interests have taken shape, and that you have begun a conscientious progress toward professional development. In this example format, the third paragraph will be a description of your professional goals. (This paragraph and the next, however, could be reversed.) Though your letter takes the general shape of a summary of your interests and background, it also builds an argument for your admission to a particular graduate program. The logic of this argument runs this way: I kn I know that I would like to engage in this w and I believe that the necessary, most logical way to assure me of success in this profession is to earn this graduate degree. This paragraph describes what you know about the professional careers to which this course of graduate study may lead. Generally, people who pursue graduate degrees tend toward any of four professional occupations: academic, public service, private industry, or self-employment (i.e., writers, lawyers, physicians, etc.). Though you do not have to commit yourself to one career only, you are best served by presenting to the admissions committee as specific as ideas as possible about what you intend to do with their degree. If you know that you would eventually like to be a business consultant specializing in labor market analysis, say so. Such a statement indicates to the committee that you are goal oriented, that you are capable of identifying what you want and of developing a systematic means to attain it. This paragraph, in conjunction with the previous one, assures the admissions committee that you are an applicant with a purpose. The fourth paragraph, which describes what you intend to study in graduate school, should tighten your argument. Now that you have made clear your interests, background, and professional goals, you must make the case that the best way for you to bridge your undergraduate years and your successful performance as a professional is to study what this particular graduate program offers. Be as specific as you can. Learn what courses this graduate program offers. Identify its faculty members and what research they are conducting. Know the program’s reputation, its strengths and its weaknesses. Your undergraduate professors can be of very great assistance in this regard. If, say, you are interested in pursuing advanced work in cognitive psychology, your application will not be most appropriately sent to a department that is trying to make its name in industrial/organizational behavior. As you describe your reasons for applying to this particular program try to link your interest with what you know is available through that program and its parent college or university. If you know that it encourages practicum experience, something you want, say so. If some of your undergraduate texts or assignments have utilized materials produced by that program, say so. Offer suggestions about combinations of courses or faculty advisors that you