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[url=/book/show/6609765-out-of-my-mind?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper[/url]
&What would you do if you could fly?" Mrs. V asks as she glances from the bird to me. "Is that on the quiz?" I ask, grinning as I type."I think we've studied just about everything else." Mrs. V chuckles."I'd be scared to let go," I type."Afraid you'd fall?" she asks."No. Afraid it would feel so good, I'd just fly away.&
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Feel Better – Be Happier
Are you feeling sad or unhappy? Here’s a few things that I’ve found to be extremely helpful.
If you are feeling sad, this is probably the most effective method of feeling better right away. Go outside and just start running. It doesn’t matter how fast you run, or how far you run, as long as you get your heart pumping and blood flowing. Try to push yourself a bit so that you have to concentrate really hard to make it through those last few feet. Doing this yields a ton of benefits:
- Exercise releases endorphins which immediately makes you feel better.
- It gives you a long term healthy habit to go to whenever you feel unhappy.
- While you’re concentrated on moving your muscles those last few laps, your mind is not fixed on what you’re sad about.
- Improving in exercise will give you self confidence when you look back on it.
- Do it outside so that you get some fresh air and sunlight.
- It increases your metabolism so that you feel more energetic for a while.
Whenever I return home from running, I’m always breathing so heavily that nothing else matters too much at the moment. There are never any feelings of pain, sadness, or anger. Something about struggling for breaths of life makes all your other troubles seem very trivial.
Laughing works faster than other exercises, as you can just throw back your head and do it. Go ahead, just laugh out loud right now… Hahahahahaha!!! Um… okay, maybe that was a little creepy. Uh.. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Okay, feel better?
Like other types of physical muscle contractions, laughing releases endorphins and relaxes you. It seems to be more effective than say running in that you can feel better after a short laugh than a long run.
Of course, it’s not always easy to laugh when you don’t find something funny. Therefore, the long term solution is to try to change your outlook to find life a funnier place. Notice the little quirks and ironic things going on around you and laugh at those. Notice the stupid mistakes you make and laugh at those. Notice how all your problems are so little in the grand scheme of things and laugh at that. Everythng kind of is pretty funny
Meanwhile, in the short term, just laugh when you feel sad. You don’t have to find something fun you can just laugh randomly! That in itself is kind of funny (so you might start off fake laughing, but then find that scene so hilarious that it becomes a real laugh anyway). Once you get used to it, you’ll start naturally laughing a lot more! It’s like a natural endorphin boost throughout the day that you don’t really even notice!
Another one of my favorite physical activities that just provides a natural endorphin boost. Unlike running, you don’t have to sweat and puff all day long. Singing is a lot like aerobic exercise, except it’s a lot more fun! Join a choir, audition for a musical play, or even just go to church. Pick something that is funny, motivating, and inspiring.
After all, while you’re singing about how good it is to be alive, it’s hard to think of anything negative. Here’s some inspiration:
I have definiately found that my overall mood is much improved when I sing on a regular basis. The easiest regular source of singing is probably church, where no one will judge you and you can feel at home singing in public. Additionally, these regular sources of singing tend to put you into contact with people, which will (hopefully) help you laugh more also
Remember The Happy Memories
Try to think of some memories. Are they ones you feel good about, or ones you feel bad about? If you’re feeling bad, chances are, the bad memories are the ones on the surface of your memory. If you’re always thinking, this is bad, that is bad, then of course everything is going to seem bad to you!
Think of a time when you were truly happy. Just any memory would do. For example, I can remember times in my childhood when I lived in a boarding school. In my corner, there was a big hole, and in it, my friends and I would always stash a bunch of “goodies”. Random stuff like paper, pieces of plastic, etc. My one prized possession was a piece of pinkish plastic shaped like a hat. It was basically an oval, with a cylindrical portion raised up in the middle. It was somewhat rough in texture, but I found it to be unique. It was a special item that I would take out once in a while and look at with glee.
Just describing that experience made me feel kind of happy. Thinking of memories like these in great detail helps you “relive” those experiences. Memory works in that the more you think about something, the more it becomes ingrained in your mind. Trying to continously think about how to get rid of your sad memories just makes you sadder! Spend some time each day and try to recall any good memories you have. Before you know it, you’ll start relating everything to those happy times and your sad memories would just be a vague recollection of the past!
Do Things And Go Places That Make You Happy
Of course, it also helps to get some new happy memories! With all those memories making you happy, why not relive some of those memories? Remember the beach that made you feel really peaceful and serene when you were a kid? Go there and sit by it for a while. Or maybe that trip that’s always made you energetic and gave you a feeling of excitement. Take that again. Do the things that you love to do, and be happy!
Remember that the main goal here is to build happy memories though, not to go through the motions of the experience. As you do these things that make you happy, take it all in and really appreciate it. Isn’t it such a great and wonderful experience? It makes you feel great just being alive!
That’s the feeling you’d like to get later when you look back on this time and relive this experience, so make it a good one!
Make Some Happy Friends
Since you are looking for happy experiences, what better way to make them than by hanging out with happy people? Pick some people that seem to be happy and smiling all the time. Make them your friend and hang out with them on a regular basis. If there is one thing that’s true, it’s that the thoughts of people you are closest to tend to “rub off” on you. You become more like the people you interact with on a regular basis.
There’s a lot of advantageous to making naturally happy friends:
- You’ll have someone making you happy randomly over the long term
- You may start to learn why they are so happy and learn the source of that happiness for yourself
- You’ll be subjected to happy experiences while undergoing this process
- Happy friends generally have happy friends also, so you’ll meet even more happy people
- Happy friends will introduce you to activities that make them happy, which you can adopt even if the friendship doesn’t work out
It sure seems like a lot of ways to make yourself happier
Finding Meaning In Life
Memories can only be happy when things are meaningful though. After all, who feels happy about doing dull and meaningless things? Therefore, you should try to find out . When you do something important well, you feel important too! Think about it – People who do important things are important! Luckily, you determine what is important, so just find out what those are, and do them!
Before long, your mind will be so consumed with all the details of doing important things, that sad memories become forgotten or unimportant by comparison! Then you’ll just be left with happy memories of yourself doing important things!
This is one of the most important ones for finding long term happiness. Being content and finding happiness when you are alone will allow you to not depend on anything external to yourself. It gives you freedom in that these external factors don’t control your mood. For example, if you’re dependent on your friends to be happy, then you’ll always be afraid of what happens if they aren’t your friends anymore. This’ll make you feel unsure about yourself all the time. Anything that would cause your friends to be away from you would make you worried. You might start becoming very controlling of your friends, always needing them to be nearby. On the opposite end of the spectrum, you might become very afraid of making your friends angry, never seeking out healthy relationships. Finally, when your friends go away (as everything goes away eventually – we all die after all), you’ll be sad once again.
Compare that to having inner security, where you have a source of happiness that no one can destroy. Why not figure out what you want and go after it? You’ll always be happy trying to take that journey!
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Enter your email address:15 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish Last All the Time
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15 Reasons Why Nice Guys Finish Last All the Time
Do you ever wonder why girls say they like nice guys but end up avoiding them? Read these 15 reasons why nice guys finish last almost all the time.
Are you a nice guy?
Do you feel like nice guys always finish last no matter what they do or how hard they try?
Now don’t hate all the girls in the world for it.
Instead, look inward and ask yourself if you’re the kind of nice guy that all girls choose to avoid.
Yes, there are different kinds of nice guys, and almost all of them aren’t really as good as they think they are.
One of the biggest problems with nice guys is how annoyed they are with the world.
Almost all nice guys truly believe the world is unfair and all girls are liars because all girls say they like nice guys but end up walking all over these nice guys all the time.
But is that really the way the game works?
Well, if you think you’re a nice guy who deserves the best girl in the world, here are a few things you need to ask yourself.
Do you have a nice guy in you?
All guys have a nice side to them.
But are you the one stepping aside so a girl can walk past you into the elevator, or are you the nice guy who lies on the ground and lets any girl walk all over you into the elevator because the floor’s dirty? That’s the difference that matters.
What’s makes a nice guy so lame?
Girls absolutely love a guy who’s nice. But they definitely don’t like a guy who goes overboard in trying to please them all the time, especially if they’re not in a relationship already. A regular guy may be nice to a girl, but a nice guy almost always ends up looking desperate and eager to please.
They try too hard to make a good impression, and eventually end up losing all chances of impressing a girl they like because they make it so obvious that they’re trying really hard to please. [Read: ]
Why are the other guys better than nice guys?
Contrary to a nice guy’s belief, the world isn’t split into just two kinds of men, the nice guys and the bad boys. There are great guys, sweet guys, charming guys, flirty guys, principled guys and hundreds of other kinds of guys who are admired and liked by girls.
So a girl just doesn’t have to choose between a bad boy and a nice guy. She has a lot of great options, and almost always, she picks any guy but the bad boy or the nice guy. [Read: ]
Of course, bad boys are extremely attractive. But I don’t think any girl takes a bad boy seriously or gives him a thought beyond a one night stand. The bad boy wants to have sex with the girl, the girl wants to have sex with this crazy guy, and there’s a happy ending by the next morning. But would a girl fall in love with a bad boy if she knows that he’s a bad boy even before she dates him or likes him? No way! [Read: ]
So a bad boy is no better than a nice guy. They’re both the two extremes of a spectrum that girls don’t care about. The bad boy makes a girl feel sexy for a night. And a nice guy gives a girl a chance to have a man Friday to run her errands. Sure, she needs both these guys to have a better life. But will she fall in love with any of them intentionally? No way.
15 reasons why nice guys finish last all the time
Nice guys make great friends, but terrible lovers. Every time a girl meets a nice guy, he usually ends up falling straight into her friend zone. It’s not her fault really, because he behaves like such a good friend that she has no choice but to look at him as a friend. [Read: ]
After all, a guy who likes a girl will try to flirt with her or tease her, not just ask her if it’s okay to carry her grocery bags or wash her car for her.
If you’re a nice guy and are wondering why nice guys finish last, here are 15 reasons to help you understand yourself better.
So are you the kind of nice guy that girls would avoid dating? Find out here.
#1 Self respect. Nice guys don’t respect themselves. They don’t mind making fun of themselves or putting themselves down all the time, and they don’t care about getting pushed around by other guys.
#2 Too agreeable. Nice guys are too sweet to voice their real opinions and end up frustrating themselves. At other times, they may bottle themselves up with implosive anger and suddenly burst out one day out of the blue.
#3 Too needy and insecure. Nice guys start off as sweet and caring, but end up becoming too needy and insecure in a relationship because they’re always threatened by every other guy who talks to their girlfriend. [Read: ]
#4 They’re boring. The nice guys are never very fun because they don’t like crossing the line into the naughty side no matter what. This quality makes them great friends who can provide good and stable advice about life but bad boyfriends who are too predictable and boring.
#5 A nice guy isn’t an alpha male. A great girl always wants to date a guy who can be in control of his life and gain the respect of his friends. If your friends don’t respect you or listen to your opinions, it’s a sure sign that you’re a nice guy who’s walked over often, even by your friends.
#6 Manipulated. Nice guys are easily manipulated because they allow themselves to get manipulated even if they realize that they’re being manipulated. This can frustrate any girl they’re dating because nice guys almost always end up getting the short end of the stick.
#7 Avoid confrontations. Nice guys can’t defend the girl they like and try to resolve any issues by trying to even the situation using polite words. They’re not assertive and never challenge anyone’s views directly. Instead, they try to get their point across through sneaky manipulation which can annoy any girl who hates feeling manipulated.
#8 Nice guys are weak. They plot revenge secretly, but can’t man up and take a stand even if they know they’re right. This makes them appear weak.
And then there’s the case of the sour grapes. A nice guy who gets dumped by a great girl always wishes and hopes that the girl dates some bad boy who treats her badly so she can know just how great a boyfriend he is. And seriously, that’s just the wrong way to go about it. If you can’t fix your problem, why do you want another guy to do it for you? [Read: ]
#9 They want miracles. Nice guys constantly look to the future for a better life, be it by earning more money or getting a great job, but do nothing to change the present even though they know they need to change their behavior.
#10 Offence. No one takes a nice guy seriously because he never wants to offend anyone. He’s too accommodating and everyone treats him like a pushover.
#11 Nice guys get stressed by difficult situations. A girl would want to date a guy who’s her rock and her strength, not a scared pussy who’ll run at the first sign of danger. Nice guys aren’t protective or aggressive enough. He can’t fight for his girl, and that’s one of the basic evolutionary needs of a girl, to feel protected around her man. [Read: ]
#12 Nice guys never lead. They always sit in the back seat of life. They may want to lead, but never make the effort or take the initiative directly. And they never really ask a girl out until it’s too late and then whine about how unfair the world is.
#13 Social strength. Nice guys are not socially strong. They’re almost always invisible in a group. No girl notices them until they make a move *as a friend* and then it’s all too late. [Read: ]
#14 Intimidation. Nice guys are always intimidated by strong personalities. If an alpha male likes a nice guy’s girl or tries to flirt with her, the nice guy wouldn’t have the internal strength to stand up against it. Instead, he may whine or sulk about it in the corner of the room.
#15 The dreaded friend zone. Nice guys always end up entering a girl’s friend zone. They’re really nice guys who make great friends and terrible boyfriends. [Read: ]
But girls do want nice guys
As you can see, there are many reasons why nice guys don’t really make the cut when it comes to getting a girl’s fancy. And you have to understand this, girls don’t hate nice guys. They just don’t like the behavior of an excessively nice guy who’s nervous and unconfident.
Even a bad guy behaves like a likeable guy the first few dates until the girl falls madly in love with him just to win her over. It just shows that girls actually prefer dating guys who are likeable and nice. [Read: ]
The confident nice guy always wins in the end
Nice guys are more sensitive and caring. They make great boyfriends and partners for life. But the only issue with nice guys is that they’re not ideal boyfriend materials.
But as guys get older and the girls get older, lives start to get more stable and stagnated, and at times like these, the stable and predictable nice guy almost always wins over the reckless, adventurous guys. But can you really wait until you’re in your 40’s before you can start impressing women? If you’re fine with that thought, go right ahead and lead your life the way you always have been. [Read: ]
But if you want to attract girls now, impress them and have a great time with them, learn to man up and face the world like a real man. Take responsibility for your own actions and don’t let anyone take you for granted. Voice your opinions and be taken more seriously by others, including your friends. [Read: ]
The perfect guy that all girls dream of is a nice guy who has a spine, the guy who’s sweet and gentle, and yet composed and confident. As long as you let a girl see that you’re nice and believe in yourself, you’ll always be chosen over every other guy in the whole world. Just learn to take a stand, and you’ll be every girl’s dream date.
If you’re a nice guy, you’re one step ahead in the dating game already. Just learn to change a few bad traits and turn that nice guy into a great guy. After all, nice guys finish last, but the nice guys with confidence don’t even need to run the race to impress the girl. They just need to say ‘hello’!
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Enjoying life in sunny California, Sarah Summer hates waiting for the perfect moment and instead chooses to take the moment and make it perfect. She has an unab...
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