by Eric Charles
“I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 6 months now. Everything is pretty much perfect- we love spending time together, he really cares about me, we spend almost every night together, and we’re pretty much a ‘couple’ in the conventional sense. The only problem is he won’t call me his girlfriend. I’ve tried bringing it up and when I do he almost makes me feel guilty about it and says things like ‘what we have is so special, why do we have to label it?’ I know he had a painful breakup with his girlfriend before me which I think might be a part of this, so I’m trying to be understanding but I don’t think one thing should have anything to do with the other. Sometimes I’m okay with how things are, but other times I get really angry, especially when my friends get on my case about it. Our relationship is starting to suffer now because even though I say I’m fine with how things are, deep down this is really bothering me and I feel really hurt by the fact that even though I am his ‘girlfriend,’ he won’t acknowledge me in that way. Can you please shed some light on what’s going on here?”
Read our guy’s response after the jump.
If a guy won’t call you his girlfriend after a month (two months tops), then I would say it means that he’s enjoying the relationship exactly where it is and at this moment will not take it any further unless he is inspired to.
I guess the simple answer as to why he won’t call you his girlfriend is because he doesn’t have to. To a guy, calling a woman his girlfriend is typically a huge pain in the ass and if the woman is making herself so available and so committed when he hasn’t committed to anything, why would he call her his girlfriend? If a store was giving you free stuff, would you say ‘no please, let me pay you for it’? I’m going to guess, no…
Now, with that said, that does not necessarily mean that there’s no chance of you becoming his girlfriend. There are some things you can do (mostly by just shifting your perspective) that can help tremendously.
For starters, I have seen a lot of women get caught up on this issue and as a result, they bring it up more and more, smothering every ounce of joy from the relationship. At that point the relationship stops being fun and full of happiness and starts becoming more like a battle of wills. And from a guy’s perspective, when a relationship gets like this, it becomes much less likely for a guy to want to stay. Why would the guy want to deepen a relationship when it doesn’t feel good and seems to only be getting worse?
My recommendation is to avoid badgering him about the topic. Bringing it up once is enough, trust me.
So what makes a guy want to call you his girlfriend? Well, the most important advice I can give is to have a high sense of self worth- know what you want and know that you CAN get what you want and never have to settle for anything less. Now this isn’t something that you need to say, it should just come across in how you act.
I would say focus on being fun and lighthearted and enjoying the relationship for exactly what it is. But beyond that, I would especially recommend that you keep your options open and you continue keeping up with all your other social activities that do not involve him: seeing your friends, attending any functions you like to go to, etc. It is important that you keep your time and company only as available as he is willing to be – match your level of commitment to his so that you are not left hanging.
Now, some things to think about…
If you like the relationship for exactly what and where it is, then stay. If you are not satisfied with it, exactly as it is, then you should keep looking.
There are a multitude of reasons why he may not call you his girlfriend. Maybe he just got out of a relationship (like in this case) and does not want another commitment that ends in pain. Maybe he likes you, but he doesn’t want to feel “tied down” by a relationship. Maybe he likes you a lot, but he knows that he’s not in a position where he can fully commit to you because he has a lot on his plate to deal with and will continue to for the foreseeable future.
Regardless of the reason, it’s nobody’s job to play psychiatrist or detective. The relationship at the moment is either working for you or it’s not.
I think there are a few traps in this sort of situation. One is staying in a relationship you are not happy in and haven’t been happy in for a while, but you’re staying in it because of the “potential of what it could be.”
Frankly, if you don’t like it the way it is, it probably will not change unless he is motivated to change it. If it has not been working for you for a while, then your best bet is probably to lay your cards out on the table: “This is the change I need or I need to leave.” You will either get it or your relationship will end – either way, you’re off the fence instead of … (continued – Click to keep reading )
Recent Relationship Forum Activity
2 minutes ago
5 minutes ago
7 minutes ago
11 minutes ago
34 minutes ago
1 hour, 46 minutes ago
1 hour, 52 minutes ago
2 hours, 35 minutes ago
2 hours, 35 minutes ago
Sign up for ourfree newsletterand get a free chapterof our book,&He's NotThat Complicated&
follow a new modeMaking Your Own Homemade Oatmeal Packets: A Visual Guide and Cost Analysis - The Simple Dollar
I love oatmeal. I eat it for breakfast probably five days a week. It’s a very healthy fuel to get your motor running for the day, plus it can be very tasty if it’s made well.
Whenever I find myself using something almost every day, I begin to wonder if I can’t reduce the cost of it somehow. This led me down the path of making my own instant oatmeal packets. Could I make them as well as (or even better than) the instant Quaker Oats packets for a cheaper price?
The answer is … sort of. For me (and for anyone else who consistently eats oatmeal for breakfast), the answer is emphatically yes – you can make packets significantly cheaper and far tastier over the long haul. For people who might eat oatmeal once a week or less, though, you’re likely better off buying the Quaker Oats packets.
Here’s the plan.
The Basic Recipe
All you really need to make your own basic oatmeal packets at home are instant (ready to eat in one minute) , salt, and sealable baggies to store them in – you might also want sugar or another sweetener if you wish to pre-sweeten the oatmeal.
The procedure is really easy. Just add 1/4 of a cup of the oats and a pinch of salt (1/8 of a teaspoon if you must measure it) to each baggie. Out of that container there, you’d get about 48 bags. I also like to pre-add a bit of sugar to it – about 1/2 of a teaspoon. You can choose to add none at all or add another sweetener like Splenda at your own discretion.
These will result in basic oatmeal packets very similar to the “regular” oatmeal packets sold by Quaker Oats. If you like the basic oatmeal with no changes, this is a very cheap route to go – since you can re-use the baggies, the only recurring cost over a realistic timeframe is the oatmeal itself – a bag of sugar and a canister of salt will last you effectively forever with this recipe.
Flavoring It Up
Of course, I like to flavor it up.
On the left are the ingredients for cinnamon-raisin packets. On the right are ingredients for blueberries & cream packets – dried blueberries and fat-free non-dairy creamer. Why not powdered milk? It tends to potentially mold and have other bad effects if left in baggies for too long – Coffee Mate is an excellent substitute.
For my cinnamon-raisin packets, I just add about 1/4 of a teaspoon of cinnamon and about two dozen raisins to each bag. For the blueberry packets, I add a tablespoon of the creamer and about a dozen and a half blueberries. Perfect.
Here’s a finished blueberries and cream packet:
The nice part is you can basically make anything you want if you’re making your own packets. You can experiment as your heart desires – any dried fruit pieces, any seasonings you can find – anything. I’ve actually made batches of cranberry oatmeal using dried cranberries in the past – I love it, but it’s not something you see sold on store shelves.
Adding the ingredients yourself make for tastier packets. The pre-mixed packets that Quaker sells seem to use low-quality versions of the added ingredients. For example, the dried blueberries in this packet are way better than the blueberries used in the Quaker Oats packets, resulting in a much tastier blueberry oatmeal.
Storing the packets is easy, too. Just stuff the baggies into the oat canister. That’ll hold 80% of the baggies – just sit the rest next to them and eat those first. Problem solved.
I Like It Thicker
One thing I don’t like about the Quaker Oats packet in the stores is that the oatmeal is almost always too thin. Personally, I like thick oatmeal, the kind that reminds me of the stuff my great grandma used to make at her house.
Since you’re making your own baggies, you can make it nice and thick, too. All you have to do is puree some of the dry oatmeal in your handy-dandy blender.
Put in about a quarter of a cup at a time and put it on puree for about ten seconds. You end up with oatmeal powder.
Then, just add a tablespoon of this powder to each baggie to make it thicker. I actually add two tablespoons to each baggie – that makes it really, really thick – just how I like it!
Here’s the bowl of thick blueberries and cream oatmeal I had for breakfast this morning:
I just dumped the baggie into the bowl (saving the baggie for reuse, of course), added about a quarter of a cup of skim milk, and microwaved it for about sixty seconds. Nice and thick and warm and delicious.
Cost Analysis
I wound up making 42 baggies with this batch. Normally, one would make 48 baggies out of a normal-sized canister of instant oatmeal, but I pureed enough of the oatmeal to make only 42.
15 of the baggies were blueberries and cream and 27 were cinnamon-raisin.
Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of ingredients left over:
I used all of the oatmeal and all of the blueberries, but I still had almost a full container of salt, an almost full container of cinnamon, an almost full container of sugar, a 2/3 full container of Coffee Mate, half a box of raisins, and 58 Glad baggies.
This means that if I were to make a second batch, I’d only need to replace the oatmeal and the blueberries. Since I can reuse the baggies and I have enough salt and sugar to last effectively forever, those are sunk startup costs – after that, you just need to replace oatmeal and the flavorings when you need to – and most of the flavorings will last for multiple batches.
Batch 1 – More Expensive
Of course, the first batch was a bit more expensive per packet than just buying the Quaker Oats packet. Here’s my receipt from Fareway for the stuff for 42 homemade packets:
The cost per homemade packet during the first run is $0.46 per packet. The cost would have been $0.43 per packet had I not ground up some of the packets to thicken some of the others. We’ll figure up costs for future runs in a minute.
What about the time cost? It took me about thirty minutes of mindless work to make these packets. I spent the entire time making them on the phone with my mother – I just conversed with her while my hands were busy with… well, busywork. Thus, I don’t consider the time sink to be significant.
How about the Quaker Oats packet? To control for location and store differences, I bought a box of packets at Fareway to compare the price:
The cost per packet for Quaker Oats is $0.30 per packet. Yep, the prepackaged ones are cheaper at first. But let’s keep looking.
Batch 2 and Future Batches – Less Expensive
The kicker with making your own packets is that they get cheaper on future runs. You don’t have to buy the sugar, the salt, or the baggies any more. Let’s say I made another identical batch to the one above – 42 packets. Using what I have on hand, I only have to repurchase the oats – $2.99 – and the blueberries – $3.29. The second homemade batch has a cost per packet of $0.15 – way cheaper than the prepared packets. In fact, averaging the two costs ends up with an average cost per homemade packet after two runs being almost identical to the cost of buying prepared packets – $0.30. If I had not ground up some of the oatmeal to make thicker packets, it would have been cheaper – $0.28 per packet.
Runs beyond the second further reduce the cost. And when you consider the flexibility of your homemade packets – and the fact that they taste far better – it becomes a pretty clear bargain after a while.
Reducing the Costs
Even more important, I didn’t optimize my ingredient purchases very well. A bit of optimization shaves off a lot of the cost.
The biggest way to save more money is to buy a giant canister of the oatmeal rather than a fairly small canister. Buying the oatmeal in bulk cuts down on the cost per packet significantly. Similar logic applies to some of the ingredients – if you particularly like blueberries in your oatmeal, for instance, buying them in bulk cuts down on costs, too.
Also, re-use the baggies. There’s no reason not to here – you’re only storing dry ingredients in them. Use them again.
Another tip – buy snack-sized baggies instead of sandwich baggies. I bought sandwich baggies in the example above because the store’s baggie selection was small – snack baggies are cheaper, easier to store, and hold an oatmeal packet easily.
All of these tips can trim the cost significantly, particularly on future batches.
Conclusion
If you or your family eat a lot of oatmeal, making your own packets is a cost-saver over the long haul – plus they make for tastier packets. In our house, I eat oatmeal four to five times a week, plus my son eats it twice a week and my wife perhaps once a week. That makes eight packets a week. In ten weeks, homemade packets become cheaper per packet. In twenty weeks, we’re now saving, on average, a dime for every packet we’ve eaten – $16. After that, it’s just gravy – another $1 or so each week saved while eating better oatmeal packets.
The key, though, is that your family eats a lot of oatmeal. If they don’t, then making your own packets probably won’t be cost-effective for you.
Get rid of high interest debt with a 0% balance transfer credit card
Earn credit card points toward your favorite ways to travel
Save money and expand your travel budget by packing any one of these cards on your trip
A comprehensive guide to maximizing rewards and getting paid back for everything you buy
Please enable JavaScript to view the
Please enable JavaScript to view the
Please enable JavaScript to view the
This is an excelletn case study.
I used to live off of this stuff in College…of course I bought the pre-made stuff.
Looks like I could have saved a bundle!
Thanks Trent!
Manage your money
Plan for your future
Protect your investments
Optimize your spending
Just sign up to The Simple Dollar Daily and start saving today.
Manage your money
Plan for your future
Protect your investments
Optimize your spending
Just sign up to The Simple Dollar Daily and start saving today.
Friend's Email
/making-your-own-homemade-oatmeal-packets-a-visual-guide-and-cost-analysis/16 and 17,we take up put down._百度知道
16 and 17,we take up put down.
16 and 17,we take up put down.
我们把他们放倒.16和17号,we take up put down16 and 17
其他类似问题
为您推荐：
等待您来回答
下载知道APP
随时随地咨询
出门在外也不愁